Life — January 18, 1906 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

EQUAL TO THE OCCASION. An amusing story is related of an eminent actor “unrebearsed in Jent" saved the situation. The scene was the deck of a ship round which rolled and heaved a vast the atrical sea. The hero of the piece stood on deck and soliloquized. The a tently to laces, 1 who at the awkward moment of an he rolling ience was listening s fervid utterances, when from the, at adbare ocean a ruddy head protruded. Alive to the co SONNET TO MARK TWAIN, (Read at the banqu humorist in New York, in honor of \ trateller from the Old-World Our customs with h Broke the handel by that time i had removes all the sticks i could get loos She then started for th t given on whitch was about cight or ten feet away i ped ler by in front of her and i and wen on to Rummerfield about two the practised player, with appropriate feverishness rpress: shouted against the da Man overboar mits mighty Tips WAS. AFRAID! OF: YOUNG’ LAWYERS The unfortunate unit in the manipulation of the Sr asenel 16 Gh George Harvey, at the dinner that he gave i sea withdrew his head rapidly, and as he did so the New York ir 1 of M. Witte and Baron Rosen, actor, looking all sympathy and sorrow, remarked: told this, apropos of foresight “Another poor fellow gone to his account!*— " ere once dwelt abril Exchange there ont farmer of So re tretemps and equal to the occasi Itself, skyscraper hi ing fre nits visage seen \ vast smile, da Like sun One eye winked In the other a huge t f ss bulk grotesque exultant rose; ne 1 to brood; perpetual eclipse n my native Peacham Wisdom in chunks a ame « liant young lawyer. To hin ce day a rs DELICATE COMPLIMENT. “Young man,’ said the farmer, ‘I want to leave Its_ measure tottering and grim Ve And while Titanic puissance clothed it ¢ Patience with foreigners was ir So that, “What art thou?” the ¢ spoke, And it replie ts pose dened traveller Many delicate compliments have veen paid the fair sex by men subtle in speech, but here is one raight from the heart of an illiterate negro that is icult to excel, It is recalled by the Rev. C. 1 mith, of Kansas City, in telling the story of a m tiage fee “When I was preaching at Walla Walla, Wash he said, “there was no negro preacher in town, and t was often called upon negroes. One afternoon, after I had married a young negro coup the service “Oh, well,” said I, ‘you can pay me whatever you ] think it is worth to you.” “The negro turned am the American joke a “Lam the joke that laughs the proud to scorn; 1 mock 1 cheer the I bid the ¢ T tell ihe tal I bring ¢ that has no hate in i In the heart of age 1 wake lying boy; My big stick blossoms with a thornless wit, ys L banish care lowly, chipper the forlorn, perform a ceremony between pressor and th: e lang! hypocrite beware. t makes nen cry for joy: . the groum asked the price I silently looked his brid. over from head to foot, then slowly rolling up th whites of his eyes to me, said: “‘Lawd, sah, you has done ruined me for life you has, for sure." "—Chicago Inter-Ocean. The lame dance with detight in me; my mirth Reaches the deaf untrumpeted; the blind My point can see. I jolly the whole earth, ut ost I love to jolly my ” THE NEW WOMAN MONKEY, M I type their master mood a —Wa. Deas Howetts. made mi all I possess to my wife as long as she remains my GREAT. EXTRAVAGANCE. Turre was a holdup of a rural mail carrier at r, and after that I want everything to go te The dustman called as usual one day at Mrs. Rummer, Mo., i¢ time ago, and a complaint has he child: as usual, Mrs. C., who just been made to the Fourth Assistant w old is your wife, sir?” asked the lawyer. never tipped him, followed Shuvtitup out to the ashbin General. The facts in the case were report ty-four.” in the backyard, and watched every shovelful of ashes wouldn't it be quite safe.” the lawyer as he dug it out of the bin and threw it into his bic © out th remains your widow? J Carefulone’s house, and, als: aster x1 to the department in a letter as follows “Hon. Fourth Clas Post Master sir As i was + my way frome Loraysvill to R mail near John McKa courteous phrase about so basket to Shaviitup’s great indignation. mer Nov +5 with na they had a lot of Sticks in t leave her fou d en find valuable articles in the you? dustbins, do inquired Mrs. Carefulone, sus the road way and one stuck in my wagon “Indeed, I won't,’ said the old man. piciously. wheels i got out to remove it and found one end fast . surely,’ said the lawyer, ‘you don’t think “Well, m said Shuvlitup, “servants an’ ‘ouse with wire and some what vexed i removed it and be now, will marry again after your death, keepers is orful keerless, not to say ‘stravagant, an’ gan to remove the others John McKann: from the House with a large Dipper full of water and threw it nd Mit wife ran we do find vallyble things in the bins sometimes. For he old man looked the other full in the face instance, larst time I was ‘ere I found two cinders, swered solemnly three rags, an’ a ‘ambone wiv a bit 0’ meat on it, The the Back with t and then she grabed up a Weil, sir, hat young chaps cinders could ‘ave bin burnt, the rags. sold, hoe whitch was on the yard fence or near it and hit like you might do for money.’ Orleans Pica bone boiled into a nice little basin o' soup. You reely ae across my back three times and the last time she pune must be more keerful, mum.”—Exchange. Iso the second o 1 Dippe Lire is published every Thursday. $5.00 a year in advance. Postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year extra. Single current copies, 10 cents, Back numbers, after three months from date of publication, 2 cents, Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Bi Company, Bream's Building, Chancery » contribution sed envelope. \ The illustrations in Live ave copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced. in, ‘The International News. , London, F. C., England, AGENTS. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address WILSON Or Sverre Thats All! Still The Best, Sold at all fest-clam cafen and by Jobbers WM. LANAHAN & SON, Raltimore, Md. 20th CENTURY LIMITED ";2°88 784" New York Central and Lake Shore comicbooks.com