Life — January 11, 1906 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T SENSORS AT Nil $ DIVIDEND. Mr. Black, an eminent and wealthy called one of hi ning, and tendered him quite a large ney. “What is this “Merely a token oldest drivers into the off asked the astonished driver eplied Mr. Black, kindly. sir, you've nore than that in it, Johe you,” said Mr. Ti and o pounds, Je have never The packet you hold in your hand contains 12 which we think is yours by oF 10 per cent are honest men, John, and don’t desire to defraud any man out of what is justly his.” John bowed mble mission, and is now iously waiting for the next dividend.—Tit-Bits Traxx R. Ettts, of the American Book Com pany, lived in Mt. Auburn for a nv last $7 of years, but ng moved to another part of The day appointed for the removal was a be: sunny one, and Mr. Ellis was the transfer of his household p house stood three big movir ¢rsonally supervisir almost covered with tures, Ellis stood equainted “Oh, Mr, . “I am only —Cincinnati Com: NOT TO BE CAUGHT. ¢ me off a little bite o yer apple, Swipesy.” ¢ it off yer own self; my mout’ Is t'ree times *n."—Houston Post. to send over a commis te our idiot asy pid those Britons are! They think all our idiots are in asylums."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. x is goi Lire is published every T . $5.00 a year in advance. Postage to ° forcign countries in the Postal Union, $1.04 a year extra. y succeeded the learned of Yai versity, the exercises attendant upon the tra ight as presider rity were marred, p in York Times, by heavy ight Professor Hadley at the i the 1 Some one handed mbrel ssor Hadley wa the ¢ nan took it from ed it Your reign will LUNCHEON A LA CARTE. BROKEN ANO MENDED. On swept the little red auto: for two. bile that was built “You-you seem so quiet,” whispered the bea tiful girl, anxiously, ‘Is there anything about this machine that is broken “Yes” “My heart Feeling remorseful at havir an at her side, bitterly. jitted him so cruelly beautiful girl ned ¢ adde “Cheer up, ! f your heart is really broken we can stor Nonser t kind of repair shop could mend a broke “Why, the parsonag: Twenty Georg minutes later the “repair shop" was reached.—Chicago News. Single current copies, dressed envelope. 10 cents. Back sumbers, after three months from date of publication, 25 cent Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britai Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGRSTS. The International News Prompt notification shoutd be WILSON Thats All! Four 24-Hour Trains to Chicago Every Patronize American industries. COLO WEATHER, William H. Maxwell, the superintendent of New York's public schools, was talking about school work “This is bright, cold weather, bracing weather he said, “The children should apply tt their tasks with a will in weather like this.” He ted. “And soon,” he said, “it will grow colder. Soc vill come kind of weather that an old master of mine in Belfast used to abhor. “They used to say about this master (bu course, it wasn’t true) that when his man 1 called him or on would SUC! hit o'clock, professor." knocked winter's ck. Time to get up." y cold this morning?" indecd, sir.’ (sotto voce), ‘then T won't wash. Philadelphia Bulletin. A Curtstiax Brahmin was preaching the ¢ in the Deccan, when a, Hindoo in the congre gan vehemently to contrad In good Oriental the sermon was immediately suspended, and nts retired to a garden to settle the poir ir leisure. ‘ou dcelare God to be infinite,” sai Hiv es. The substance of the debate was t “What is the mea “Tt means limitles: “And vw “Good is an adjective. “And what is the grammatical func jectiv calling Him good, and th The Argonaut “Ture young woma “What one?” “The one who succeeds in making happy mar riages a fad."—Detroit Free Press. fame and fortune waiting for IN THE WEE, SMA’ HOURS. “1 am not exactly a labor hero,” he muttered st he softly stilled the pendulum of the hall clock, for all that I am calling off a very disastrous strike.” —Baltimore American, A uittin lad was asked the other day what he intended to be when he grew up. He pondered over it for a while, “I won't be a sailor,” he said, “be cause T might be drowned. And I won't be dier, because I might be shot. T think I'l be Yew York Tribune. tribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and ade The illustrations in Lave ave copyrighted, and are not to ly reproduced. ent by subscribers of any change of address Wear a the creation par excellence of the nation, Agencies in all the principal cities in the world. Day—NEW YORK CENTRAL.