ComicBooks.com Register / Loginit's free!

Life, 1906-01-04 · page 44 of 48

Life — January 4, 1906 — page 44: what you’re looking at

📖 Open the full issue in the page-flip reader →
Life — January 4, 1906 — page 44: Life, 1906-01-04

What you’re looking at

This page is primarily **advertising** for bathroom fixtures and household products, with one editorial humor piece. The main advertisement features "Standard" porcelain-enameled bathtubs and lavatories, marketed to women as symbols of modern domestic purity and good taste. Additional ads promote Woodbury's Facial Cream, Krementz collar buttons, and related products. The editorial content, titled "Hardware Man's Philosophy," is a humorous short piece about a hardware merchant and his customer. The merchant uses Thanksgiving turkey-carving instructions as an extended metaphor to explain the absurdity of domestic tasks—noting that carving a turkey requires more skill than instruction diagrams suggest, and that exhausted fathers typically end up frustrated and overheated. The satire gently mocks both elaborate instructional culture and the gap between theoretical guidance and practical reality in holiday cooking. The humor relies on relatable domestic frustration rather than political commentary.

📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

os We So LE ic ty and B, * np e Te Unwe in SUty, “Standard” PORCELAIN ENAMELED BATHS & ONE PIEGESPAWATORIES ‘Stardan€ Porcelain Enameled One-Piece Lavatories for the bedroom and dressing chamber appeal to woman — the preserver of the ideal home, with intense interest. The cleanliness and purity of the white enameled surface, the expert technical construction, the exterior beauty of the form of a ‘Stardard” One- Piece Lavatory make its presence lend a distinctive note of good taste to any room, and is a source of constant pleasure to the user or owner. No bedroom can be strictly modern or comfortable without this feature. The Lavatory shown in this illustration is the Seedarf” Anona P-520, costing approximately $54.30—not counting freight, piping, or labor of installing. Our Book, “MODERN BATH ROOMS.” tclls you how to plan, buy and arrange your bathroom, and illus- trates many beautiful and inexpensive as well as luxurios rooms, showing the cost of each fixture in detail, together with many hints on decoration, tiling, etc. It is the most complete and beautiful booklet ever issued on the subject and contains 100 pages. FREE for six cents postage, and the name of your plumber and architect CAUTION: Every piece of “Startanl” Wore bears our “Stavtand” “ Green ond Gold” guarantee lobel, ond has our trade-mark “Stasiand™ cast on the outside. Unless the label and trade-mark are on the frture it nol. “‘Siandand? Refers sollte they ort all fetched ctl seat eee TRS Ed ee a A Ot View: Address Standard Sanitary M[y.Co. Dept. 34, Pittsburgh, U.S. A. Offices and Showrooms in New York: “Standen” Building, 35-37 West 3ist Street. London, England, 22 Holborn Viaduct, E. C. . W QUALITY J) Sa*exex Rew fall winds tend to roughen Woodbun’s Facal “Cream apglied nightly preveata | chapping and keeps the skin and temper normal. | Sead 10 a, for samples of all four preparations. | The Andrew Jergens Co., Sole Licensee, Cin. O ‘Tho Unbrexkable Ccilar Buttons that don’t hurt the neck, Easy to button and unbutton : stay buttoned. Made in Gold and Rolled Plate, If damaged in any way. exchanged for new one at your jewelers oF haberdeaher’s, Booklet on requaat. Krementz & Co., 60 Chestaut St., Newark, N. J. Hardware Man’s Philosophy. HE genial hardware merchant replaced the long, keen knife in its plush case. The customer who had been examining it wanted time to “think it over.” “That's a steely looking knife,” observed the regular caller. The merchant paid no attention to the veil reflection on the quality of his wares. “T always get a good deal of fun out of this season of the ye: 2 son. There’s ‘How to Carve the Turkey.’ the diagram of the bird, for one thing. That insert the fork in the breast at 2 to be: with; a thick-witted man can do tha: when it comes to neatly separating drumst and wings from body at 5, 6 an that’s a different job. The turkey doesn’t |: an arithmetic pinned on him when ie comes on to the table. And it's a more difficult job disjointir at Figs. 9 and it and cutting large, smooth slices at Figs, 12 and 13. When the age father gets through standing up over a twentv-pound turkey a double row of hungry eyes followii every dab and slash it’s time to ring the am lance call. He starts in bravely; ne ends by pulling the fowl to pieces and exclaiming that the dining room is so infernally hot no Christian can breathe in it. @ legs and wit “Then there's the advice to shoppers to shop early and avoid the rush and crush. There are silver threads among the gold in that warming. I suppose a few people who are very rich do but the ninety-and-nine shop on s! mas Eve, just before the lights are put out. Up to the last moment we announce with a | frown and a determined shake of the head that we're not going to give any presents ti not a present. But in the end the Christ mas fever gets into our bones and our good resolutions take wings. At least, that’s the way with the men; the women sew their ers to the bone doing fancy work. And be- tween hiding the fancy work and scurrying to finish it and the feather stitching and putting a border on it they are half distracted. They hints concerning appropriate gifts. I’ve just been reading them. ‘For elder sister, silver thimble and muff chain.’ Fancy elder sister capering around the parlor in an ecstasy with a thimble in one hand and a muff chain in the other! ‘For the minister, sermon case and cal endar.” The minister has caught it hot from the bat ever since the first meeting house was built. If there’s anything -you don’t want at Christmas time send it to the minister. Ile used to get carpet slippers, a pair for every toe on both feet. Now he gets a sermon cas although if he can’t preach extemporancously he’s dismissed.” “I'm afraid you're growing sarcastic,” re- marked the caller. “I'm afraid I'm hitting pretty close to the truth,” replied the hardware merchant.—Prov- idence Journal, comicbooks.com