Life, 1906-01-04 · page 19 of 48
Life — January 4, 1906 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous poem by Wallace Irwin mocks the early automobile era by contrasting speedy motorcars with traditional transportation. Two aristocratic gentlemen (Sir Marmaduke and "F. de Plum") pursue fleeing trespassers in a newfangled auto, which initially seems superior to the peasants' lame horse. However, the auto suffers a blowout and crashes into a haystack, landing the knights in legal trouble. The satirical twist: the Justice of the Peace resolves everything by marrying off the wealthy nobleman to a cook—a social reversal typical of Life magazine's class commentary. The story ends with the humbled aristocrats being towed homeward by the very lame horse they initially mocked. The joke targets both automotive unreliability and class pretension: modern technology fails, yet tradition (and common folk) ultimately prevail.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“+O tell me, jocund peasantry, Saw ye that fleeing pair?” *O, yes, Sir Knight, this morning bright We seen 'em riding fair. Their horse was lame and blind and tame, And like molasses slow, ch> ‘Twill be a snap to catch them, Sir, Within that swift au-to.” , “ Trespassin', be sings!” a *: Fudge on your words!" upspake the Knight, Down-swallowing a lump, “ Swish-bingled little speed we'll make ‘Tied here to Pilkins’ Pump !” ‘Then forth crawls fair Francois de Plum A smudge across his chin, “Cheer up, good Knight, "tis fixed all right Jump in, Milord, jump ia 1” Then in they jump and off they jump A streak of red and grey Down-felling all the peasantry That stand across their way ; Si Scroggins’ Barn and Reubensville t bullet speed they pass To Stringtown, where the Constable Hath strewn the road with g! 4 4 -LIFE- 19 Homeward, O:noment dire! puff goes a tire, And in a clownish way Sir Marmaduke and F. de Plum Land ina stack of hay, From whence Bill Brown, the C Our heroes handcuffed bring: “Fer scorchin’ on the King’s Hig And trespassin’, be jings 1" Then to the Justice of the Peace Doth march that rustic boor A-dragging haughty Marmaduke And ditto his chaf But at the Ju What waits them there, I pray ? A lame horse drowseth by the door Hitched to a one-horse shay cof the Peace And from the Justice of the Peace— O be mine eyes mistook ?>— The Lady Gladys fareth forth And leads The orange flowers are in her hair, (List how the Father raves!) The Cook in bridal weeds attired A marriage license waves, er darling Cook ; ““O humble Cook, O pastry Cook, (Here, chafoor, pay my fine Can I forgive this socaking trick Thou dost to me a To share my 1 Gadzoobly But hitch mine auto to your shay And { will bless ye both 1 i mine ? nds with such a churt am loth— ‘Then homeward in the one-horse shay The happy couple go, With Marmaduke and F, de Plum Dragged wearily in tow, And as they roll, the weary Knight h to his chafoor, sto goeth swift by jerks, Doth si; ® The J ‘The Horse is slow but sure ! Watlace Irwin, comicbooks.com