Life, 1906-01-04 · page 15 of 48
Life — January 4, 1906 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate humorous pieces typical of early 20th-century American satirical magazines: 1. **"Dear Me! Another Waif!"** - A cartoon showing cherubs carrying various objects (numbered 1909), depicting children as street urchins or orphans. 2. **Three brief comedic dialogues:** - An office boy interview where the applicant claims ability to handle any task - A lawyer's courtroom exchange about witness credibility and marital status - A brief ethnic joke (featuring "Pat" and "Oi") about an Irishman's death in a railroad accident 3. **"Dithyramb to an Automobile"** - A lengthy satirical poem mocking automobiles as dangerous, polluting, noisy hazards that endanger pedestrians and force women into unflattering "fearful costumes" (protective driving clothes). The poem reflects early 1900s anxiety about automobiles as reckless menaces to public safety and traditional ways of life. The overall tone reflects common complaints about rapid modernization—automobiles' speed, pollution, and social disruption—expressed through Victorian-style poetic mockery.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“DEAR ME! ANOTHER WAIF !” Chronic with Him. FOR THE DE- Have you ever been before? Have I? Complete. HAT are your’ qualifications 2NEY for an office boy?” “Well, sir, I can do anything from filling inkstands to attending directors’ meetings.” . eros Tue Witness: married man. I'm a Dithyramb to an Automobile. H, product of this too, too rapid age, (Like Sin, Death is thy wage), With righteous wrath it makes me rage To think that in this free and equal land Thou art allowed to rush around, unt And go, or stand, Barring my progress in the public way, Monopolizing streets by night and day ; Strewing thy track With fearful, dreadful wrack, Nor pausing to look back Upon thy victims, Oh, alack ! slack! Tlift aloud my wail— Alas, I fear it is of no avail Why cumberest thou t! und ? Why art thou always whizzing ‘round, On deadly errand bound ? And thea thy smell! Oh —— Well — — It isn’t necessary to discuss What couldn't well be wuss, Again, Oh, Automotile, thou must know Another reason why I hate thee so; Thou makest lovely ladies fair Such fearful costumes wear Instead of gleeful rags, They don great coats like bags ; And hats that seem Like some distortions in a dread{ul dream. The men themselves Look like Plutonian imps, or morstrous elves. And so, thou art no gocd ; I would T could Banish thee to some dark and distant wood. There, far away To stay For aye, Until thou shouki’st decay. Hooray ! Carolyn Welt:, A Head-off Collision. IKE : So Cassidy was killed in a railroad wreck—was it a head- on collision ? Pat: No, begobs—his head w. off when they found him, Oi belave comicbooks.com