Life, 1905-12-21 · page 24 of 30
Life — December 21, 1905 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a **Life magazine page** (circa early 1900s) composed primarily of **advertisements** interspersed with two pieces of **satirical content**: ## Main Advertisements The page features product ads: Lea & Perrins Sauce, John Jameson Whiskey, Krementz collar buttons, and the Seaboard Florida Limited train line—typical commercial content. ## Satirical Content **"Her Choice"** (poem): A humorous verse listing a woman's rejections of various tradesmen (iceman, carpenter, gas man, printer, plumber, electrician, architect, merchant, poet) for absurd professional reasons—until she marries a blind man who "no fault in her could see." The satire mocks either women's pickiness or men's foolishness in courtship. **"Joseph's Postscript"**: A brief anecdote about a Black servant boy near Richmond who, when asked to write a letter, writes one requesting permission to watch croquet—demonstrating unexpected literacy or cleverness. The humor (from the era's perspective) likely derives from the servant exceeding expected capabilities. Both pieces reflect early-20th-century American humor conventions and social attitudes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Nii Lea & Perrins’ Sauce made delicious by its proper use. to every dinner. Joha Duncan's Sons, Agents New York, \ THE ORIGINAL WORCESTERSHIRE The Peerless Seasoning This bottie with the label bearing the signature, Lea & Perrins, is familiar to the public, having been on the market for more than seventy years. As a seasoning it improves more dishes than any other relish ever offered to the public. Soups, Fish, Meats, Game, Salads, etc., are LEA & PERRINS’ SAUCE adds enjoyment STAR WHISKEY Produced with te bead makes Pride New Yatk, 1183 Broedway; Boon, 360 Wash Bitbure 305 Park Belding. Balsmere Cont ental Basking; Washington, Deo TaST Bensa, CHARLES B. RYAN ment Sleeping Cars, Observation and Dining Cars is veritab tosunny skies, You don’ ‘t get travel-worn, because the route Ket first choice of rooms, because you arrive before others COMMENCING JANUARY 8 Leaves New York 12:25 noon every day Arrives St. Augustine 2:10 P.M. next day Booklets, illustrating and describing the leading Winter Resorts in the South, wilt be supplied by ticket agents of connecting’ lines and by any agent of the SEABOARD AIR. LINE RAILWAY La E General Passenger Agent PORTSMOUTH, VA. KREMENTZ n the Pack of the Button lasnres Permanent Satise faction. It cannot break from service. The shape of sued it stays buttoned. Sold by Jeweiere and Hap itaterdashers. ‘Write for booklet: TRIUIST? 8 65,65 Chests St Nowak, NI. Pride for 1. Easy to. Those of & Bie tee ITS SUMMER IN THE SOUTH REMEMBER THIS WHILE PACKING IN ZERO WEATHER Seaboard Florida Limited ONLY ELECTRIC LIGHTED DAILY TRAIN TO FLORIDA Atrip South on thistrain, with its splendid Pullman Drawing-room and Compart- Her Choice. N vain the iceman wooed her, She did not think him nice; And all his summer's profits With her could cut no ice. ‘The carpenter she sent off ; She found he was no good Because he wouldn't keep still And go on sawing wood. ‘The gas man she detested, Although he loved her long, Because he wrote her poems And got the meter wrong, She couldn't love the printer— She didn’t like his type. The plumber she rejected Because he + hit the pipe.” The gay young electrician ly sung her beauty’s praise ; wouldn’t have a husband Who had such shocking ways, As vain to catch her fancy ‘The architect did plan ; She said she'd never marry Such a base designing man, ‘The merchant fared no better; She knew he had a way He'd keep up after marriage Of dictating all she'd say. She feared to wed the poet, Though he wrote poems by the ton, Lest the burden of their life song Might be, ‘ Owed to everyone.” At last she took a blind man, Who no fault in her could see, And, deaf and dumb, lived with her In silent ecstasy, . —Baltimore American, Joseph’s Postscript. HERE lives near Richmond, Virginia, a family of some social distinction, who have in their employ a small negro boy. Much to the annoyance of the ladies of the house- hold, this piccaninny for a long time would persist in neglecting his nominal duties and would idle about the grounds of the place. Finally, one day the mistress of the establish- ment, adopting a strategic course, handed the boy pencil and paper, saying: “Here, Joe! Write me a letter.” With a grin the lad obeyed. In a short time there came from him a shrill call: “Missus Blank, I've got it wrote! It says: ‘Dear Missus—Kin I go down to the croquet court and see 'em play croquet ? Respectfully yours, Joe Jones. Mrs, Blank, not yet ready to allow him that recreation, said: “Very well. Now, write me a postscript.” Then she forgot all about Joe. Some hours afterward she chanced to observe a note stuck in a door-jamb. Opening it, she read the mes- | sage first written by Joe, and underneath it | this postscript: “I have went."—Saturday { Evening Post. SCOTCH ALE is a wholesome, nourish- Best for building up.—Ade. YOUNG! Ing beverage.