Life — December 21, 1905 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A WILKES-BARRE burglar’s conscience compelled him to return his booty.—Pittsburgh Dispatch. Please take notice, Messrs. Mc — 3) Chicago clubwomen have 3 3-10 children apiece, —Chicage Journal, Probably they can afford the time to be clubwomen, because they don't have to take care of that extra 7/10 of a child. .) Somebody has been counting and reports that 10,811,000,000 cigarettes are smoked in this country every year—Buffal ‘The same person should go a little further and tell us for how many coffins these will furnish nails. € Mr. Carnegie doesn’t attend church as much as he ought to.—Aer, Donald Sage Mackay. Fie for shame, Andrew! And you a Scotchman, Re- member the eye of a needle. P—ns, ef al. wmemeercial. ae es Commissioner McAdoo has officially stated that " good detectives are not made by examinations."—Boston Transcript Nor by Commissioner McAdoo, to judge by the increas- ing number of burglaries and hold-ups. ei ‘The Hon. Joseph Chamberlain looms up about as bumptious and trouble- some as anybody in British politics. —Aoston Herald. Our American tariff grafters would better keep an eye on Joseph. 6 Dr. Madison C. Peters's objection to political equality for women is based on the belief that more women are bad than good.—Buffale News. What do the women of his flock think of that ? Secretary Root is to attend the next session of the Pan-American Congress, which meets in Rio de Janciro. What's the mat- ter? Is Secretary Taft “all in" ?—Harper's Weekly, Perhaps ‘‘ Dear Bill"’ would like just for once to sleep in his own bed. The rumor that Chauncey Depew had resigned his Senatorship was evi- tly started by a man who didn’t know Depew.—Detroit News. The ‘ Peach" doubtless feels that it is hisduty to remain in the Senate and make the other Senators look respectable. A Mr. May married a Miss January in New York the other day, and now winter is lingering in the lap of spring.—Lowisvilie Times. Didn't July when you wrote that paragraph ? 775 The report that McCall and Perkins would resign from the has been "* emphatically denied" by them.—Chicago Journal. In their bright lexicon, as well as in that of Depew and the Czar, there's no such word as resignation. y ? It is said that 40,000,000 1906 calendars will be distributed between now and New Vear.—//ouston Post. ‘The date crop seems to be safe. Tillman is after corrupters of public servants.— Daily Paper. But they didn’t catch Tillman, ) High finance is just plain “monomania” now. A Con- necticut court sets a man {ree on that groun » York World. But this does not apply to smaller thieves. They go to jail as heretofore. ends to write a book.—Buffialo News. The yellow journals will probably print supplements con- taining reviews written by her ex-husbands. ° 2° Lillian Russell i f ‘The status of the Americans here is the same as that of any other foreign ers. If they try to assume official functions we will put them in jail.—Cusan Secretary of Interior. What! Tired of us already? And we have sent them hundreds of our smartest carpet-baggers and promoters! As often asthe public makes up its mind that the worst has been told in the insurance investigation, new testimony proves the contrary.—Detroit News. This promised to be the usual nine days’ wonder. It has held the public interest for almost a year, and each instal- ment of the serial is more blood curdling than its prede- cessor. Throw no bouquets at your representative in Congress.—-i/bany Journai. Superfluous advice. Bricks are the real temptation. That Virginia veteran who refused a pension and back pay to the amount of seven thousand dollars is the sole veteran of his class.—Cincinnati Com- mercial, And dollars to doughnuts he doesn’t belong to the G. A. R. ‘The Chicago papers speak very highly of Mme. Bern- hardt’s acting. It seems to be their opinion that she has a brilliant future before her.—Aochester Union, That's where they're generally worn. comicbooks.com