Life — December 7, 1905 — page 56: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Boomerang. ORE seeking out an obnoxious odor,” observed Weather Fore- Ridgeway, “I'd advise a man to first throw away his ’s a wealthy old capitalist in this city who entered his office one morning and seemed strangely affected. He puffed his flabby che and then pushed a button long and deliberat “‘James,’ said he imperiously to the superintendent of the building, ‘there’s a nauseous odor coming up from the street; some refuse cart or oil wagon has stopped near the building. Induce the driver to leave at once. The smell is overpowering. “The old man dismissed the superintendent with an assertive sweep of and continued reading the market reports. ed James meekly, a few moments later as he strove to stand ‘the man refuses to tall roofs and firmly on the yielding velvet of the luxurious office, budge an inch. Furthermore, he advises me to return to states that he will take orders from no one but his employe ‘The abnormal germ of petty impudence,’ sputtered the old man, his eyes goggling dangerously, ‘who is the scoundrel?” Your chauffeur, s Some One Had Foozled. UGUSTUS THOMAS, the playwright, invented a fine plan whereby e keeps his six-year-old son from shocking his mamma by repeating swear-words. For every new word that the little chap whispers to him privately Mr. Thomas gives him a quarter, on condition that he repeat it again. He had great faith in the prophylactic power of the sys- tem until one day last week, when he was chatting with a dozen guests before dinner. Little Gus, who had been out walking near the golf-links with his nurse, burst into the drawing-room, his blue eyes dancing with enthusiasm, his fair curls flying, his pink cheeks extended in a triumphant smile “Oh, papa, papa!” he cried; “I've just heard a new one that’s worth a dollar !"—Saturday Evening Post Not Sectional. “TER an evening performance at a theatre in Richmond, Virginia, one of the waiting street-cars was quickly filled by well-dressed people of the so-called better class. There were a number of men who continued to occupy seats, although several ladies were standing in the aisle At last an old lady was pushed forward by the jam. A boyish-looking fellow promptly sprang up and tendered her his seat. The old lady’s pale face, saddened by sorrows which could be guessed from the little gold and blue and red enamel Confederate flag pinned o her breast, brightened as she accepted it. “It is easy to see what part of the country you come from!” she said, graciously, immediately crediting the action to the South. The young fellow’s face glowed as he took off his hat. Permit me to thank you,” he said, bashfulty but fervently, “ of Vermont.”—Boston Transcript. CANNON while presiding at the installation of Dr. Edmund James as president of the University of Illinois, told this story: all other good citizens at the of fifty, I am a grandfather. One time one of my little grandchildren wanted to go to House of Representa- tives to see Grandpa Joe perform. They went into the gallery. It was a stormy session, and nearly e one except the presiding officer was talking. The little girl finally said: ‘Aunt Helen, if Grandpa Joe is Speaker, why doesn’t he spea ww York Tribune. Ever Faithful. in the name PEAKE A, GENTLEMAN once possessed a valuable sporting dog which was extremely clever in the retrieving of dead and wounded game, It had, in fact, never been known to lose a bird when brought down by the gun, The owner, however, was a remarkably bad shot, and one day. firing both barrels hastily at a rabbit which ran unexpectedly across | path, he heard a mournful howl. The next moment his dog appearc carrying a black object in his mouth, and laid it carefully at his maste feet. The animal had retrieved his own tail—London Globe. AN IDEAL GIFT FOR THE MAN At CHRISTMAS TIME And forall Times made. Six Pairs of Socks in a ‘RICH HOLIDAY BOX” FAST-COLORED COTTONS, will outwear any Socks We offer this ATTRACTIVE HOLIDAY PACK- AGE trusting that it will appeal to our old friends, and also to those who are unacquainted with the UNUSUAL MERITS OF OUR FAMOUS PRODUCTS, we feeling that if you will avail yourself of this gencrous offer, you will ever afterwards be a per- manent customer. For 28 Years Stamped on the toe of our Stockings. Style 1989 Black (Our Famous Snowblack), 19sw Black with Natural Cream-Colored Egyptian Soles. SP14 Cardinal and Navy Blue Mixture. SPA Oxford Mixture Outside, Pure White Inside. 3s8D Rich Navy Blue. Delivery charges D13_ Rich Tan Ground, with White Hairline Stripes. paid in U.S. oii These goods are made in sizes 9to 113¢ and are upon re retailed regularly at 25 cents per pair. To those desiring six pairs ($1.50), we will furnish free a beautiful Christmas box. WHEN ORDERING, PLEASE DO NOT FAIL TO STATE SIZE OR SIZES DESIRED. Reliable dealers everywhere sell Shawknit Socks. If you have any trouble in procuring them, send your order direct to us. Our beautiful, illustrated catalogue showing many styles and realistic colors will be mailed to you free upon request. SHAW STOCKING COMPANY, 170 Shaw Street, Lowell, Mass. ASSORTED comicbooks.com