Life — December 7, 1905 — page 42: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Electric Carriages @ Have held the lead through all changes of design and type since 1895 because they have excelled all others in Efficiency, Durability and Radius of Reliable Action New Model Columbia'Brougham MARK LXVIII Exclusive Design—For Private Use Only and all fi t vehicle. n give easy r of the coach advantages over the are { g andin ¢ the driver's seat. F ny Great Write for des LANDAULETS © BROUGHAMS HANSOMS VICTORIAS SURREYS RUNABOUTS VICTORIA-PHAETONS MADE BY Electric Vebicle Company, Hartford, Conn. NEW YORK BRANCH : 134-136-138 Wes 39th Street CHICAGO BRANCH : 1332-1334 Michigan Avenve BOSTON: Columbia Motor Vehicle Co., 74-76-78 Stanhope Street PHILADELPHIA: Penasylvania Electric Vehicle Co., 250 North Broad Street WASHINGTON : Washington E. V. Transportation Co., 15th St. and Ohio Ave. PARIS: A. Bianchi, 194 Boulevard Malesherbes Member Association of Licensed Automobile Manufacturers nent men were caught red-handed—with the goods on them—to use a now obsolete term, Their affairs were investigated, and a more or less sensi- tive public opinion condemned them. Indeed, it looked for a time as if they would all have to go back to work to make an honest livelihood. It looked as though slow, steady plodding would come into style asain; and there can be no doubt it all might have turned out this way, and by being obliged to work for their living the most able men among us would have still managed to retain their snap and virility “Everybody was being investigated. Committees from Congress, with the aid of lawyers, were turning up the secret methods of the most promi- nent, and all of our financial leaders quaked in their boots. People were beginning to declare that, after all, money was not the main object of existence—that there was sucn a thing as character, and that a man who s truly honest, and made a modest competence by hard work, was entitled to more respect than the financier, who, by distorting the law, | grinding down his fellow creatures, mac and an enormous fortune, and then hypocritically posed as a philanthropist. I say all this might have been so, if suddenly there had not arisen a man, now forgotten, who laugh on the whole nation. “He was one of the most prominent magnates. His turn came to be ted, Instead, however, protesting his innocence, he boldly declared that he was a public robber. And moreover, he asserted that he was proud of the fact. He declared that the time had gone by for cant, and that it was much better for the real, able men of the country to own up to the fact that they were getting all the moncy they could by hook or crook. He established newspapers and periodicals to prove his s point. He pointed to history to uphold him, and he succeeded in bring to bear precedents from every stage of the world’s progress to show that he was right. The honest man, he declared, was a weak, degenerate creature, who had never accomplished anything worth while OW was the result? In a short time he had everybody with } A new régime was established. Bold men came forward everywhere declare how much they had stolen from the people, heroes. “In the meantime, while this band of men, who, to begin with, had al the brains of the country, ening themselves by luxury and profligate expenditure, the women were creeping forward year augmented the army of women workers. It was discovered that instead of being the weak, vacillating creatures they were thought, in reality they were capable every flight of ability that formerly the men had boasted of. Of course, you understand, they still retained all those feminine traits, which, however much we may Iaugh at them, are» inconsistent with real ability, and which indeed make them all the more lovable. “And so, to ma reins of governme a umphantly elected Preside: rned the | investi of and were treated ¢ gradually we | Every a long story short, they gradually supplanted the men e t. And Miss Juniper Smith has just been tri “Let us then,” exclaimed the professo Washington at onee. Tw hand.” Alas!” replied Highton, Juniper found that rs she has been in the h r sceing the ads. in the S per. TI in the world was in Chicago, so she has located th so that sl “waste no time, but go on to d like to investigate this new government a 4 ated at W Monday morning ment store for b: © Capitol is no 1 sh wouldn't do. Every to a depa: ton f y ins. at est department stor seat of the Governn dies of her C This department store Jin the next blo her Jearly enough to pick up the dest bargains Tt has everyth hinet can get the way, is a wonder from a protoplasm to a stan¢ ar * A standing army!” “Yes. You sce they now raise children by the incubator system. The department store is connected with the Chicago University by a covered |way. Some time ago they discovered the source of life, in the Chicago University, so that the babies are transported from thence to the st | without injury, and are sold in job lots for purposes of trade. Some time ago the Government gave an order for a new addition to the stan army. This would at one time have been a matter of years. but they nov |have a forcing process, so that in a short time now we will have sev regiments fully equipped for the field. You will readily see the advanta; of this system. The soldiers have no parents to mourn for them; there are no pensions to pay. Instead of this, the funds that used to go to the (Continued on second page following.) comicbooks.com