Life — December 7, 1905 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MERIDEN offerings for Christmas in STERLING SILVER and SILVER PLATE a Socio, SPOS STERLING PHOTOGRAPH FRAMES Sizes from 6% x 754 to 11% Prices from $22.00 to $38.00. HE very accessible location of THE MERIDEN COMPANY'S show-rooms at 218 FIFTH AVENUE will be a decided convenience to Holiday purchasers whose time is limited. The main entrance is at the northwest corner of Madison Square; the 26th St. door is but a few steps from the Broadway cars. ‘Send for * Silver,” illustrated booklet of December suggestions for gifts, ete. “Name on Every Piece" JOowNEY’s CHOCOLATE BONBONS Dainty—Delicious—Healthful The ABSOLUTE PURITY and DELIGHTFUL QUALITY of the world-famous Lowney products has resulted in the Largest Sales of Any Confections Made. THE WALTER M. LOWNEY €0., Boston, Mass. | R. SOPHRONIA FLETCHER, of Cambridge, is hale and active at the age of 91. In a criticism of a somewhat emotional and bombastic character, Dr. Fletcher said the other day: “This gentleman reminds me of a friend of mine, a woman, now dead these many years. “The woman, with a tragic air, rushed upstairs one | strangely naive. He Was Familiar. “LIJAWAIIAN servants,” said a woman with some experience of them, “are the best in the world, but they are strangely unsophisticated, They insist on calling you by your first name. Ours were always saying to my husband, ‘Yes, John,’ or ‘All right, John,’ and to me, ‘Very well, Ann,’ or ‘Ann, I am going out.’ At last I got tired of this, and to John, when we got a new cook, I said: ‘Don't ever call me by my first name in the new cook’s presence. Then, perhaps, not knowing my name, he'll have to say “Mrs.” to me.’ So John was very careful always |to address me as ‘Dearie’ or ‘Sweetheart,’ but the new cook, a watchful chap, gave me no title at all. “One day we had some company, some English officers. I told them how I had overcome, in my new cook's case, the native servants’ horrid abuse of their employers’ Christian names, and I said, ‘By this servant, at least, you won't hear me called ‘Ann.’ just then the new cook entered the room. He bowed to me respectfully and said: weetheart, dinner is served!” “What!’ I stammered. ““Dinner is served, dearie!" answered the new cook.” Modern Society y and cried to her | maid: “Celeste, put my curling iron in the fire at once a mad dog.” Ah, brave ma the wound.’ “'NoJ' said the lady. ‘But I am going to curl my hair so T can run ¢ doctor.’"—Kansas City Independent. James has been bitten |b ne! said Celeste. ‘Madame is going to cauterize for th A Houyhnhnm Critic. IR HENRY IRVING needed a horse to ride in the production of King Henry V., and at the last moment learned with dismay that the reg- ular Lyceum Theatre horse was off his feed and couldn't act a little bit. The distinguished manager-tragedian was pacing his office in profound agitation when the assistant property-man appeared, leading a bent-legged | person whom he presented as “Mister 'Erring, a most reliable job-master” —English for livery-stable keeper. ve ‘eard of your bit 0’ trouble, Sir "Ennery,” said Mr, Herring sym- pathetically, “and I'm ‘appy to say I ‘ave the very ‘orse you need, sir. ‘E's ‘ad a lot o° styge experience, along of actin’ under Mr. Beerbohm Tree——' At the mention of his deadly rival's name the Irving eyebrows leaped upward two inches. “And ‘e's a noble beast, too,” the job-master continued, unconscious of the silent sneer at Mr, Tree. “But 'e ‘as one fault, sir, and I won't keep it from you: ev'ry time Mr. Tree mounts ‘im on the styge ’e groans a long gro most dismal-like, an i “Hah!” Sir Henry interrupted with a snort. critic, I perceive!" —Saturday ning Post. “Hah! Something of a Fooled. HE old master knew all about “cribbing” as a schoolboy and had not forgotten the little tricks and dod; One day during an examina- | tion the keen-eyed teacher observed one of his pupils take out his watch every minute or two. The pedagogue grew suspicious, Finally he strode slowly down the aisle and stopped in front of Willie's desk. “Let me see your watch,” he commanded, “Yes, sir,” was the meek reply. The teacher opened the front of sheepish when he fead the single word, “Fooled.” But he was a shrewd He was not to be thrown off the scent so easily, He opened the Then he was satisfied. There he read, “Fooled again.” the case. He looked somewhat man, back of the case. The Tatler, comicbooks.com