Life — November 9, 1905 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

intend to shoot ?"* ‘ot you people, but the tires. I'd take the con- sequence,” added the farmer, ** afore I'd crazy machine to skeer my hoss and upset my wife. —Daily Paper. You are wrong, farmer. It is better that a thousand wives should be damaged, than that one autoist should be delayed. ow any dura Lyttle was making the turn in his Pope-Toledo car at even bett-r speed, when a passenger train got in front of him at the Mineola crossing, east of the grand stand.—New Fork Worlil, Passenger trains should be abolished. the Trenton ages, and the ages. tte Gilman Perkins. “We have had the Silurian, the Devon of stone and iron, but woman Cincinnati Tribune. Why so indefinite, Madar Mr. McCurdy says insurance companies are 11 ing policy-holders. Certainly not. Polic enriching insurance companies.—Houston Post Wrong again. Not the companies, but the officers and their uncles and their cousins, whom they reckon up by dozens, to say nothing of a few Senators and lobbyists. for the purpose of enrich: lers exist for the purpose of Church Conference has. vel Mr, Roose- est President since Washington."—Roch= eater Herald, Probably because the President agrees with the Church on the subject of race extinction. Open-work stockings are a menace t morality is in- sisted upon by the president of the Massachusetts W. C. & Chicago N Open-work stockings do not menace general comfort so seriously as the open-work vocal organs of the W. C. T. U. Asa result of an old feud, two Louisiana doctors met the other morning and shot it out.—//owston Jest. ‘There was no chance of a fee or they would hav out. cut it w that President Roosevelt has declared that modern football is brutal, several university presidents re reached the tentative conclusion that some of the features of the game are slightly overstrenuous —Kechester And the general public has awakened to the fact tha a game it is a bore. Those who live by the knife frequently perish by the knife. For appendicitis and cancer are the two chief diseases caused by flesh-eating, and from these maladies men and women who eat natural and hygienic food, and obey the laws of health, are practically immune.—S/dney H/. Beard. Worth knowing, to be sure; but what's to become of our surgeons ? Also the butcbers. New York is great in many things, and especially great in its crimes. — Baltimore American, But greater still in its criminals. ‘This contention that there never was an angel with whiskers looks like a personal thrust at Dr. Parkhurst and Dr. Dowie.— Washington Post. This is not the first time that some rude and irreverent hand has endeavored to pull down our idols. There may be plenty of whiskerless angels, but the trim whiskers of Dr. Parkhurst and Dowie ought to be held sacred. A butterfly from The Hronx made a trip in the Subway to Fourteenth Street the other day an exit to the upper air, reminder of the country and green fields is pleasant to New Yorker was hard on the butterfl York Tribu If he had gone as far as Wall Street, he wouldn't have yotten away. There are too ma pert butterfly chasers in that region to permit any butterfly a chance for its life. d managed to fi In judsing G. Nernard Shaw's censorious criticism of Irving, it is only ritable to assume that here, as in his other writings, Shaw says the © of what he What difference does it mak ans. —Chicage News anyway The Government printing office has become a hotbed of extravagance Are not these plants thoroughly acclimated, by this time, that we need provide such expensive hotbeds for them ? A German savant says the bite of a pretty gitl is as deadly Chicago Journal. The pretty girl’s for ours. as a rattlesnake’s. Upto this time nobody has dramatized the life insurance investigation.—S¢. Joseph New No, but McCurdy, Jr., is writing a new version of * Everybody Works but Father.”” ‘The spirit of graft which seems to have pervaded the country has made its way into colleges and universities.—President King of Obertis The schools have got to be practical. They can't expect to go on forever educating along lines which don’t touch contemporary life. Of course, where the endowment per- mits of luxuries, honesty may still be offered as an elective, for such as choose to dip into purely academic subjects. Elliott F. Shepard, a grandson of William H, Vanderbilt, receives prison sentence in France for killing a little giel with his motor car.—Daily Paper. Just for killing a girl! Whew! What an uncivilized people those Frenchmen are ! Wasntxcton, Friday.—Miss Alice Roosevelt reached the White House at ten minutes to five o'clock thisevening.—Daily Paper. And now we'll behave quietly, like a nice American girl, and not play the Princess any more. ‘The world and the country are growing better every day.—Pittsbure Cazet: Well, at least we are growing too foxy to be setting up moralities which will simply make rascals of us. comicbooks.com