Life — November 9, 1905 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

You Like “A Square Deal”! Of late much has been printed and said about OWN TOPICS It has had abundant blame laid at its door. But— Its chiefest fault is—Courage. Its chiefest crime—Telling the Truth. Its loudest detractors are those who have NOT read it. Having listened to calumny and detraction Why not learn the truth for yourself? READ “TOWN TOPICS” DON'T CONDEMN IT WITHOUT A HEARING! Will you not be fair? Will you not give it *a square deal" ? Will you not buy a copy, read it and then judge it? Or—better still—will you make a trial subscription at less than half the regular price ? Send a Dollar bill, or a Dollar money order, or a Dollar cheque and receive FREE until April 5, 1906, TOWN TOPICS, including its’ FAMOUS HOLIDAY NUMBER, alone well worth the Dollar. What Will Mou Find In It? CRITICISM —Intelligent, just, bold, honest, without fear or favor of or to any one, You will find discussed in it, freely and truthfully, the DRAMA, MUSIC, ART, LITERA- TURE, FASHIONS, ATHLETICS, AQUATICS, RACING, HUNTING, POLITICS, ARMY AND NAVY AFFAIRS. You will find the best American Society viewed with truthful but courageous criticism of its follies and foibles. You will find, each week, the brightest short story, the cleverest poetry and the sharpest wilticism. You will read its weekly review and discussion of finance, the Stock and other markets, the excellence of which, through its clearness, thoroughness and absolutely honest conviction, has made for TOWN TOPICS’ FINANCIAL DEPARTMENT an enviable reputation in the commercial and banking world, In a word—in the weekly issues of TOWN TOPICS you will find so wide a field covered that you will confess it the most generally interesting weekly periodical ever published. Your trial subscription will mean your permanent patronage. No one who has ever read a dozen consecutive issues of TOWN TOPICS has failed in becoming a regular reader, The proof of this lies in the tremendous and widespread circulation it has attained, The price of TOWN TOPICS is 10 cents per copy—28 pages—(Holiday Number—100 pages—25 cents). $4.00 per year by subscription, To secure its examination and trial by you, it will be sent rh from now until April 5, 1906—22 issues, including Holiday Number, value $2.35—for $1.00. You will get good entertainment for the winter's evenings. Address: TOWN TOPICS, 452 Fifth Avenue, New York SHOPPING IN NEW YORK. Mrs, E. F, BASSETT, 145 West sosth York City, shops for and with customers, free; suggests costumes, household furnishings, decorations, etc. a NEW YORK Jtippodrome TRIUMPHANT SENSATION ““THE ROMANCE OF A HINDOO PRINCESS ” with Plunging Flephants, and “A YANKEE CIRCUS ON MARS” with Claire Hellot and Hons and other unrivaled specialists DAILY MATINEES. THE BEST TONIC FOR THE HAIR Caswell, Massey @ Co.’s Rum & Quinine CASWELL, MASSEY & CO. NEW YORK & NEWPORT The Antiseptic Babe. E can sterilize his bottles, we can boil his little mug; We can bake his flannel bandages and disinfect the rug That envelops him when he partakes of medicated air. But there's one impossibility that leaves us in despair And a not unjustifiable alarm, you will allow— To wit: we fear ‘twould never do to sterilize the cow! We are careful of his hours, we are thoughtful of hi toys; We are mindful of his sorrows, and judicious of his joys; | We are prayerfully considerate of needful discipline, Of our little * Mother's Handbook” and the precepts writ therein ; And we strive to render sterile all designed for mout\ or tum, But one frightful danger menaces—we cannot boil his thumb, —Harper’s Magazine, once di MES MERRY, a well-known Scottish ironmaster and owner of race horses, to run for Parliament. He stood as candidate for Glasgow. He posed as an extreme Radical, and was prepared to abolish everything in sight, as a short way to \reform. At one of his meetings where the {heckling of candidates was the feature, as in Jall Scottish elections, he was asked, after he had disposed summarily of the crown, the House of Lords and most of the British con- stitution, whether he would abolish the Deca- logue. “Certainly,” cried the valiant Merry Then turning to his nearest neighbor on the platform he asked in an audible whisper, “Jock, what in thunder’s the Decalogue?”— we York Tribune. Modern Life. HE: Is it true that your brother is going to remarry his divorced wife? He: Yes. He became so well acquainted with her during the divorce trial that he fell in love with her.—Translated for Tales from “Pliegende Blatter.” led N Atchison woman has a horrible secret, which she has never dared tell a soul, not even her own husband, and it is her constant terror that it will be discovered. She visited a friend in an adjoining town lately, and while she met some agreeable people she has found since returning home that she did not meet one of the “socie Atchison Globe. people of the town.— HEAR you are at work on a new novel.” said the popular novelist. “Who is to bring it out?” “IT don't know yet. The highest bonus I have been offered so far is only seventy thou- =|sand dollars, and unless the publishers show an inclination to be more liberal I may burn it. I can’t afford to cheapen my work in the estimation of the public.”"—Exchange, E forgot to mention that our office boy’s gtandmothers have quit dying until next season.—Milwaukee Sentinel.