Life — October 26, 1905 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

This Bubble HE times must indeed be sadly out of joint when takes to lecturing New Yorkers about the iniqui © grafters."—New York Tribune. Why not? He ought to be an authority. Mayor Van Wyck jes of “graft” and Other delegates strongly supported him, adducing numerous instances of the mischief done by kissing and giving scientific reasons why it should be abandoned. One learned physician described it as ‘that unpleasant custom." Some referred to the custom with impatience hardly removed from disgust, while others treated it as being almost criminal.—New York Sun. But even so, we fear our learned and scien- tific friends cannot make the practice unpopular. Some of us are still young. ‘The phrase “the majesty of the law " has rather a ludicrous sound in Colorado.—Cheyenne Leader. Why Colorado alone? / From Genesis to Revelation, from cover to cover of the Bible, there is no mention made of a female angel.—New York Globe. Nor of a she-devil. The sex appears to have enlarged . its sphere of action since biblical times. The Scotch are a thrifty people. —Encycloprdia. McCurdy sounds Scotch. Hall Caine’s address in New York was described as having been delivered “in a tone faintly touched with melancholy."—A'axsas City Star. This probably indicates that he was in full sympathy with his audience. West Point was made ridiculous, when visited by Baron Rosen and M. De Witte, by the remission of punishments previously awarded to the cadets. “This action,” the order reads, “is taken as acompliment to the distinguished envoys themselves and asa mark of regard to the great nation they represent.”* Collier's. ‘The practices of royalty should not be called “ridiculous.” They are becoming quite fashionable under the present administration. Repose is not a prominent asset of America's rich men and rich women. e York Sum. No, but pretty soon, if justice be done, some of our get- t rich-quick insurance friends may have ample opportunity to cultivate repose. It seems to be about an even thing, matrimonially speaking, between the beautiful stenographer and the devoted nurse.—Boston Herald. ‘The nurse is more likely to be ‘in at the death.”” “ You ask," said Justice Kelly, in an excise case in Brooklyn," if a sand wich on a table constitutes a bona fide meal. I answer, No."—Evening Sun, His Honor is right. The prohibition sandwich on the table is not a meal, but the silly sacrifice that humanity is made to offer up on the altar of intolerance. 487 Positively, do not kiss! If you want to avoid consumption, refrain. ‘That's what the experts say.— Headlines in New York Sun. Consumption is not the only danger. Next to a good cook the most important thing in your house is to get along with your wife. Philadelphia Inquirer, And if your wife is the cook, these two most im- portant things take care of themselves. The Bible abounds in metaphors.— The Editor. So do other classics—for instance, the reports of insurance companies. “Turn your thoughts to higher things,” says Mr. Rocke- feller. And, for fear that his meaning may not be exactly clear, he gives another hunch tothe price of kerosene.— Louisville Times. Mr. Rockefeller is nothing if not practical. A recent pamphlet signed “ John A. McCall, President, "* boasts that the New York Life’s money “ is never used, directly or indirectly, in any transaction for the benefit of any individual."—New Fork World. A superfluous utterance. Who has ever suspected an insurance gentleman of being greedy or underhanded ? ry man who is proud of New York should register and vote this year. ‘ew York Sun, Why reduce the suffrage to that extent? BLAMELESS. REMEMBER TO WHOM YOU ARE SPEAKING. 1 AM YOUR PATHER. WELL, DON'T BLAME ME FOR THAT. Stern Father Pert Son The Mysterious Metcalfe of ‘‘ Life” O* Thursday evening next will appear in the foyer of a certain New York theatre, Any theatrical manager who carries his “ Lire" in his hands, and identifies him, will be presented with a ham sandwich and a year's subscription to Lire. All you have to do is to say : “You are the mysterious Metcalfe of Lire I will do the rest. I will be disguised in full evening-dress. RAFFLES METCALFE. comicbooks.com