Life — October 12, 1905 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNFORTUNATE. A certain merchant of Baltimore, who is wer x known for his philanthropic spirit, was approache VLLY 5 one day by an Irishman, formerly in his employ, wp a ade a touching appeal for financial assistance, Sy “I trust, sor, that ye'll find it conva help a poor man whose house an’ everything in SUFFICIENT, CONDENSED ROMANCE. Once upon an evening dismal, The final chapter al novel was two col Was, Gord doen asl wekweon” I handed her a paroxysmal mins long, but the editor ha > nch of space The merchant, although he gives nd, exercises considerable caution in his Spoke her name~ it was | ‘ Accordingly he compressed the hero's tragic end nthropys 30. he asked Kiss, and spoke her name baptismal, for it h : Ah, she was a scrumptious creature, into the following paragraph “Have you any papers or certificates to Glib of tongue and fair of feature, Arthur took a small brandy, then his hat, his that you have lost everything by fire, as you say? But, alas! 1 couldn't teach her, rture, besides no notice of his pursuers, mean The Irishman scratched his head as if bewilder For she had been there before a revolver from his pocket, and, lastly, his own Finally he replied And she winked at me and murmured, P ago Chronicle, “I did have a certificate to that effect, sor, ¢ Murmured the one word: “Encore! before a notary; but un nately, Sor, it was burre Only that—and nothing more seer (Crinisrey a tenerable: Dritisher :niowsvisit up with the rest of me effects!"—Harper's ice ing this country, reminiscently tells of his lon, quaintance with the Prince of Wales, now Ki BRUTAL! A LESSON ON FRACTIONS. ward, and narrates the story of his christening when ab: Ail of the stores of the cmpire were Teacner (giving @ lesson on f ‘ed its and’ Atbsre: Ralwaed'a. init to get rid of mosquitoes. He says to rub alue o a piece of meat; if 1 cut it in two, your face and hands. When the mosquito take | HT have? bite, it packers his buzzer so it can't sting It s Chass (tutti): Halves. down in a damp place, tries to dig the packer A Memphis, Mo., man has discovered a new e3y se Teacner: And if I cut my pieces a c catches its death of cold and of jeamosa— what do I ge Kansas City Star. Curss (tutti): Quarters Teacnea: Tagain do the same; now what have 1? “An's no end of fans” said a jolly-looking y fellow to his companions in the subway chur the summer when this phi Cass (half-chorus): Kighths Tracie: Good. If I continue in the same way, what then shall T get? ; exchange business is on, Chass (a duct) iaiera “Our pastor is ‘way off on Long Island see! LACHER ‘ery good cw my pieces once where, and the preacher in whose church be is coe ducting services for the summer has been sert ¢ here. more in two, what shall we have thei Dead silence in class. However, one hand went up in the corner of the class “This country parson has been a circus THE FIRST ARRIVAL long with his original remarks, but he reached limit on Sunday when he began his prayer by a) ing: ‘O Lord, Thou didst sce by the morning j Tescner: Well, Johnny, what is it? Jouxnxy (solo): Mincemeat, please’m es A MARTIAN DISCOVERER LIT UPON EARTH, AND THE SPOT WHEKE i tT - NO TIME WASTED. WAS SRARCHED, BUT THRY FOUND pers. "—New York Sun. Farmer Cy Whipple was said to have JUST A DENT IN THE GROUND religion than any other man in Mendocino Coun IN FACT, "TWA. A MOTTOMLESS Ptr GENEROSITY. Ne boasted that, for more than forty yea = Beccar: Pardon, sir, but this nich never missed a meal or neglected to & 3 “AL Hu. were displayed in all of the windows, when me fs dead. was said that Cy's religion and his tite merged ine af the co marked, * Bexevoest Oto Max: Why, so ji so closely that it was hard to tell where the one left crown the lad’ need the three Y keep it, my man, as a reward for you off and the other began. When the dinner bell sum York Tribune. Translated for “Toles” from "Le Jour noned the family and the help to the dining-room, Cy always led the charge. While the others were Two young married couples with one baby be seating themselves at the table, the old man would tween them find bridge the very best game to play QUITE INTELLIGENT, start in evenin Avorixe Graxoworues: Isn't he a} “O Lord, we thank Thee for havin’ given us i see,” say the mothers, “we are perfectly Cast Visttor: Ves, he's a nice such a beautiful day. Sanctify this food to our devoted to bridge, and then, since the baby came, we Avoaixc Graxpmorner Cinterruptin souls’ good. Amen. Tass the meat."—San Fran fy convenient. Dummy can always go rock He just lies there all ¢ Ut, him to sleep. if he is restless." Vere York Sun. athes and breathes, Baltimore Live is published every Thursday. $5.00 a yea 4 Vo contribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and ads foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.08 a year extra dressed envelope 10 cents. ck numbers, after three Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Grea in, The International News ompany, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, E.C., England, AGeNts. Prompt notification should be sent by subscribers of any change of address. The illustrations in Lave are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced, WILSON How To Do It. erything salable should be made right and kept right. WHISKEY unter Whiskey is made right in quality and purity. It is kept right by T hat’s A | ] ! perfect ageing, and its superb flavor is a natural result, ' Sold at all firvt-clam cafes and by jobbers | WM. LANATIAN & SON Baltimore, Md. 20th CENTURY LIMITED ‘3taciz* NEW YORK CENTRAL and LAKE SHOR comicbooks.com