Life — September 28, 1905 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE BISHOP'S EQUIPAGE. A grand wedding was about to be solemnized The usual crowd of people lined the pavement close up to the red carpet. In the wake of a long wring of equipages of the most aristocratic kind came a disreputable four-whecler with an old ¢ king ; very shabby. It stopped just in front of red PARTICULAR ABOUT HIS FLIES. carpet, “Here; hit” shouted the policeman on duty, “When Sir Henry Irvin, as last 7 bman who had served on the house com- “you can't stop here; we're expecting the bishcp York,” said one of his agents, “ d the same cab: mittee of a yacht club tells an odd complaint made every moment.” The cabman regarded the excited man to drive him and from the theatre every by a millionaire member. mber of the house pole a leer, and as be got down from the night. Sir Henry beca: 1 of this eabn He mmittce kept a copy of the letter of complaint. — Ik box in Icisurely fashion a threw a ragged clo would discuss American politics with him, American 1s follows: over his skeleton of a horse, said, “It's hal newspapers and American plays and players. “Gentlemen: T have the to inform you that guv’nor; I've got the hold di “One night the cabman told Sir Ile that the IT lunched at the club this afternoon, had as my Tatler, his h ad in his pock ° F NG tarted in the livery business a passes, but he gave th 3 in first thing he did was to have “ representing himself holding a ovale see me, you and your wi “ome s = by idle. as Pp A of this “The Merchant of Venice.” It is considered one of stroke of business enterprise, and sked my best pa of his wife: ‘Is it not a good likeness of me?" Mh, thank you, sir’ said the eabman, ‘That “Yes.” she , a perfect picture of you: but who is the fellow holding the bridle?” Francisco News Letter, “The next night, of course, Sir Henry did sce the cabman. But the night after he was HIT IT RIGHT. pared to enter the = Tere is a curious bit of reasoning on the part of Well, how did your wile like me as a little girl in a North country boarding school. The Shylock?" examiner wished to get the children to express “Why, the £ . aid the cabman, ‘we reprobation of lazy people, and he led up to it by didn't ‘4 asking who were the persons who got all they could “°%¢ ? 1? asked Sie Henry. y - and did nothing in return. “On account of the missus,” said the cabman, _ For some time there was silence; little girl, who had obviously reasoned —Doston Herald inductively from her own home exper ost as usual, and Sir Henry said to him gently. ‘The missus, sir, preferred the continuc * claimed with a good deal of confidence, “ HARD SUBJECT FOR CROSS-EXA it’s the baby!"—London Tit-Bits, “C MUST," SAID THE RHETORIC PROF tleman of East feels by “AT SUCH GROSS AMBIGUITY SCOFF. A CAREFULLY CONSIDERED COMPARISON TUBIGRASS-CANNOT:O ROW, “We don’t want no flyin’ machines," said Frastus WHEN I SIT ON IT; SO, Pinkley, ally automobiles is bad ele deine the difficulty YOU PERCEIVE, LAM ‘KEEPING 1T OFF enough.” route information f telligent nat “Do you think fying machines will be worse cts. than automobiles?” The ¢ politeness, to give one answer that most agreeable c motor car enthusi. tempted recently to tort igh norther cated inquiric guests three emen, all well-known gour far to Gilgit?” Nene: ihe . an omelet was Yaas, I docs. When you is hit by an auto: t so far, your highness.” swerved! : only three flies. mobile, dar you is; but when you is hit by a ‘yin’ “Yes, your highness.” jatfo a8 to! generosity’ of nature drop comin’."—IWashington Star. “Isn't it three?” ly my pride; it was, moreover, emt “It may be, your highness.” f ake an equitable division of A CURE-ALL. s that what it is the omelet, cith Birrxtxs: I wish I could get rid of this bor “It may be five or six, your hi <." a nice bit of cary you must cd rible toothache! en why did you say it was one or two?” forego a fly myself. rirrxixs: When I have it I get rid of it very “I beg to sugges y : simply. A kiss fron sweetheart, and. it’s cone. at is the real distance < ordered for four persons, I be served wit Is that so? Do you mind giving me her ad. your highness ple i cither—(a) four flies oF ( fics at all. ress?"—Transluted for Tates from Flicgen countries in the Postal Uni 1.08.a year extra. Single cu ssed envelope. ® is for sale by all Newsdealersin Great Britain, The International pany, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. ” ification should ubseribe any change of address. The ittustrations in Lave. ave copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced, The Thorough Ageing of WILSON Hunter WHISKEY e Fructifies and Purifies That’s All! | Seesste Sold ot all Aret-clan cafes and by jobbers WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. “BEGINS RIGHT, ENDS RIGHT, IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE."—New York Central. comicbooks.com