Life — September 7, 1905 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

s con- | this | er okt 1786. . ters ard fl however, did not mar the spirit of the festivity The next morning the Mayor, a beautiful carnation in his buttonhole, entered his office. The Town Clerk had preceded him, “Ah, Gideon, what a fine evening we had! The ball was a grand success. 1 saw you dancing.” The Town Clerk smiled feebly. “I'm afraid, Phineas,” he observed, “that I didn’t get on very well. The fact is I haven't danced for a good many years. I find there master in town.” “Hadn't we better telegraph for one? s no dancing just say there is a splendid opening “I've done so already, It's a. grea thing, isn't it? Haven't felt so young in years. Did you notice that little thing from Chicago—wasn't she—" the Town Clerk chucked the M playfully in the ribs—"a peach or 1 T be they term lieve, Phineas, that is wh. it The Mayor grinned “My dear boy, not a circumstance to that fairy princess from Kentucky. Oh, my, Gideon, she is a Tu I, or a lalapa- loosa—somehow that seems more ¢x- pressive.” The Town Clerk edged nearer the he whispered, “I'm we're not up to date. We must some new clothes, Phineas. 1 ced your dress suit looked very abhy—you don’t mind my saying so and you wore a black waistcoat—not good form, Phineas. We must do bet- ter. And last night I observed that you tucked your handkerchief in your waistec ik. “You are right, and I'm glad you told me. It’s hard at my time of life to be criticized, but there’s so much at that I hope you'll feel free to do it. By the way, Gideon, are you mak- ing any progress in the frivolous lan- t—a terrible bre guage of our charming visitors? Paul has been a great help. I learned ‘lala- paloosa’ from him.” “And I learned ‘peach’ from him. Dear me, yes! I begin to feel ten years What a grand thought to put some new life in the town! To think we never had a golf links. Here are the plans.” They were interrupted by a knock at the door. Miss Chesney entered, younger. Isn't it immense? “LEE? Gentlemen, a word. resignation.” What!” The two officials stared at cach other. Miss Chesney was invaluable, She kept all the records and matters of detail in her head. Her withdrawal would be a calamity. Mayor. ndeed I do.” “But your reasons “They will be ¢ qualified than mysel Here is my id the cannot mean i ven by others better The Committee is now outside and desires an immedi- ate dience. Through the open door the Mayor looked. In the outer office was a group of well-known women, those who held high offieial positions in the municipal government The thunderstruck Mayor gazed at the equal rted Town Cler “You see,” he observed, “what it means to have allowed our women the privilege of voting. Without y discor them our present high moral standard doubtless could not have been’ main tained, for they occupy the most im- But now, my friend, are going to strike portant places. I see it all. Th J Intely necessary reform, here comes split. Ah, well, admit them. We'll as we are introducing an at fight this thing to a finish The C headed. by mmittee entered. Tt was spare look with a high forehead Miss Peasbody! Good morning your Honor. Yc “Good morning doubtless know the reason for our visit.” “Can it be possible that you——" “Tt i nly possible, but assured fact that we have not only ¢ here to is an not c me to protest, but we ar mn aga dinary departure on your part, and the take strong act inst © extraor- unseemly introduction into our quiet and orderly life, of a lot of vixens. Do your understand, sir, VIXENS?” Nonsense, madam, They are not vixens. I never heard them called by that name. Why, they are all— peaches !” “Lalapaloosas, Clerk, “Call them what you will, they must go at once.” “But——" (Continued on second page following.) ventured the Town “No buts, sir. If you do not comply with our request, we will all resign, There shall be no more official or pri- vate business in this town, Everything shall be tied up.” My dear madam, listen to reason.” “Don't talk to me of reason, sir. It is yon who have lost your head. Why, these giddy ¢ endurable, They are already making chatterbox of the atures are positively un- wn. [heard one of them, with whom [ sat in a car this morning, actual : boast th atover night she had already become engaged to no. less than three of our leading citizens. Think of it! Scandalous! “Great !!" muttered the Town Clerk, under his breath. But, madam,” said the Mayor, “you don’t understand. ou are not on to the game. You are a back number—I beg your pardon—I mean you are lurk- ing in the rear, Don’t you sce that our future is threatened? We must continue our life as a community. At e all ina rut. Govern- nt—business is all right —but our oll friend Cupid has closed present we a ment is all r up his shop and gone away. AN I have done is to bring him back. The parks— et busy must be more spoons in our our back parlor sofas must again—why, the old moon is becoming ashamed of us are running dry will soon be at Our baptismal fonts Our Sunday schools g of the past. Santa dy giving us the eye. Come now, be reasonable.” The lady drew herself up haught There was a tremor in her voice “If you think, sir,” she replied, “ we are not alive to the sit are entirely mistaken. the fact, of course, that new genera- tic must arise, and we are willing to provide for this.” “How?” Claus is alres ozen hat ion, you We appreciate “By arranging for a judicious im- portation of a select class of babies from other quarters. is on foct already. We shall send out agents. Wherever infants can be se- cured, they will be at once introduced into the community. It is needless to say that our advanced ideas about the bringing up of children will be suc- cessfully brought to bear on this new problem. of course, be made as to their physical and mental fitness, so that the grand The movement Suitable examinations will, comicbooks.com