Life — August 24, 1905 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Absolution. HEN Leonard Wood from Cuba came And vile detractorscried, For shame! The fellow is a monu- ment I Of all that is incom- a Still Leonard Wood at once was made A General of lofty Scandal to daub his ph petent,” rade. more— He was a friend of Theodore. Ww Loomis to his office sleek From Venezuela m. Wit ges r ng in histears, His fingers black with They sent him off OF he Midst He was a friend of Theodore. phalt smears, me 1s Mr. Ne ABOUT MERE, YOU KNOW t, honored John Paul Jor WATER. me-saluting cannons’ roar— bless the bones Mrs, Newlywed : OM, CLARENCE, 1 CAN SEE AP PECT REFLECTION OF MY PACK WAY DOWN (ywed » ARE VOU SURE IT AIN'T A LOBSTER POT YOU SKE? THERE'S LOTS OF ‘est The Latest Thing. wi The stockyards to inve 1n Garfield was ordained by fate I HE craze for the latest thing still he newest book, first claim upon ef continues. d beef ; the last style, ha Yet when the public asked him Why, our attention He didn’t cavil or deny, Obscurity has no more distin- His failure being glozéd o'er— guished gucst than yesterday’s news- He was a friend of Theodore. paper. A woman goes into a bookstore to get something to read.” High up on the es, discreetly guarded from the dust, are Scott, Eliot, Balzac, Sha’ peare and other back numbers. at them and rapidly ap- proaches the counter where the new- He dida't see a rogue or th He couldn’t smell the tain When Secretary Morton quit His Naval job as Snubbing the Nati he saw fit, 1 in his zeal To land a Life Insurance deal, The Governmental Fathers smiled Indulgently upon their child ; He was a Patriot He was a friend of Theodore. ay, more— est publications are on vi “What's this?” she If I were in a public place up a yellow and blac I'd labor to avoid disgrace, this by To shun the habit soft and fine Of touching things that were not mine; Bot if I should become involved In sins not easily absolved, My honor I would soon restore— I'd be a friend of Theodore. , picking fair, “Is new man? How long has it been out? Is it good?" “Yes'm,” says the clerk. “It's excellent. - It came out only yes- terday, and I sat up all night reading it. Taken the country by storm," The woman hurries away with her Wallace fren, “THE SMILE THAT WAS HEARD AROUND THE WORLD.” prize The style may change at any moment. Only one obstacle remains to block us in our search for the latest thing. We have the same old people always about us. No matter how they are rigged out, or what new conccits they may furbish themselves with, their style is ever the same. There is nothing new in people. Babies continue to be doubled up with old-fashioned colic. _Stomachs are still in vogue. It is true that some effort has been made to predigest our food, but the success of this has not been paramount. Boys are still boys, and when they grow up they are still men—or otherwise. Some day some bright mind will get out a patent on to-morrow; and those who can afford to pay can use it be- forehand. Then, doubtles: discovered that one day is just like another, and that there is nothing new under the sun. comicbooks.com es md