Life — August 3, 1905 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

An Effective Sample. CLERGYMAN was very fond of a par- i yhot brand of pickles, and finding culty in procuring the same sort at hotels when traveling, always carried a bottle with him. One day when dining at a restau- rant with his pickles in front of him, a stranger sat down at the same table and with ; an American accent presently asked the min- r to pass the pickles. The minister, who enjoyed the joke, politel sed the bottle, and in a few minutes had the satisfaction of sceing y the Yankee watering at the eyes and gasping for breath. “T gues parson?” F Yes, my friend, 1 am, “E suppose you preach ’ said the latter, “that you are a replied the minister. asked the Yankee. “Yes, sit; I preach twice a week usually said the minister, “Do you ever preach about hell quired the Yanke Yes; I sometimes consider it my duty to remind my congregation of eternal punish- ment,” returned the minister. “IT thought so,” rejoined the Ya you are the first of your class I carried samples.”"—Tatler What He Wanted to Know. A*® ATHER amvsi y ‘ nect ac ne fi ‘ He had been consented to do—in_ the and on the important 1 he readily | schoolroom, ight the ed with an expectant audience was p The front se: hts of tl s were occupied by a few of | hborhood, and ap- CONCERNING THE “QUARTER () GRAND” TS Tone Quality is superior to that of an Upright. It occu- I pies practically no more space than an Upright. It costs no more than the large Upright. It weighs less than the larger Uprights. It is a more artistic piece of furniture than an Upright. It has all the desirable qualities of the larger Grand Pianos. It can be moved through stairways and spaces smaller than will admit even the small Uprights. Coptowwe ~ CHICKERING & SONS = P*pished 796 Tremont Street, Boston s addressing the select few, for he over the heads the rest of the a At length, at the expiration of a couple of ' is lofty style and t hours, the professor dropped blandly remarked: “And now, friends, in conclusion, allow me 1 to say that i ¢ has a question to ask I will do my best to answer him.” i Tt was a very who slowly rose to his and asked the first and only question “Aw'd be vurry mich obleeged, measter,” he ' ’ rem f ye'd jest tell us wot on airth it is I that ye've been praichi ?°—Tit-Bits. © MORTON TRUST COMPANY Investments. One Who Has Suffered. 38 NAssAu STREET, NEW YORK } ie os Seis bird with cagle ‘ selected list 0} a vs and a voice like a fozhor: Capital, = - - - $2,000,000 GRADE BONDS and guar ngs and . te whe foghorn ‘i can not anteed STOCKS paying from 334, an to. Beersheba anc . « Surplus and Undivided Profits, $6,000,000 to 5s. The secaritics are caused more trouble than all the ticks, fleas, ¢ OFFICER on hand for immedi- most LeviP, Morton, President. James k c . ate deiivery, ff nsfiakces,,'shiath otee - ' eek Eee a bugs, rattlesnakes, sharks, sore toes, cyclones, } Charles 1, Allen, VicePrea Charles A. C earthquakes, bliz smallpox, yellow fever. gout and indig Des, coyotes, grasshoppers, chinch Lists and full particulars upon application. stion that this great United EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE : Redmond & Coa., |] Sites have known oF will know when the ani- . dent P. Morton Haven BANKERS. verse shuts up shop and begins the final in- Charis HL. Auten ma ils seme 507 Chestnutst., 4! Wall Street, || "ie: I other words, it has got war and kdward J. Berwind ‘Harry Payue Wattney PHILADELPHIA. Fe Vor? [hell both backed up in the corner yelling for ‘ ice water.—Guernsey, W Gazette. ‘