Life, 1905-08-03 · page 37 of 44
Life — August 3, 1905 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents a serialized romantic story titled "Life," depicting a Wall Street broker named Herbert Van Slater who uses market activity as an excuse for neglecting his romantic interest, Kitty. The satire targets the obsession of early 20th-century businessmen with stock market trading. Van Slater is so preoccupied with ticker prices ("Copper at 65") that he cannot maintain a relationship—he's simultaneously too busy to see Kitty alone and too distracted to understand her feelings. When he finally decides to marry her, he treats it with the same urgency as a business transaction, summoning a reverend while monitoring market data. The joke mocks how American capitalism had invaded even intimate life: Van Slater can only justify his romantic attention during market closures and frames his proposal around market normalization. The decorative hearts at the page's bottom provide ironic contrast to this business-driven courtship, emphasizing how commerce has subordinated sentiment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
see? Kitty, you do see, don’t you? But this isn't—no, it isn’t—honest. Only y can’t go. I want you. Mine? Oh, yes! Why, you ought to have known it. But how could I, when—of course. Where will you be? But the market, Kitty, the mar- ket. ‘o-night I—wait a minute—” Penton was nudging him by the elbow. “Get her to come down here,” he whispered. “Don't you see? Don't you understand? This is the only place whi her alone.” “Hello! Yes, here Iam. Well, simply must see you alone—alone, you understand. Your house is you can be sure of seeing crowded? Of course. Then come down here. I'll send for you. You must—you must, Never mind. Will you promise to wait there for thirty minutes? Yes. All: right. Don’t fail. Remember. Au revoir.” Van Slater turned. “OF course, I couldn't blurt it out,” he cried, “but I think Kitty was going away because—well—she didn’t under- d 1 didn’t quite understand just how stand just how busy she had been, a busy I had been—that is, in regard to her. Yow, old man, my ma is down below. Fetch her back Here's the address. You know her. Explain and hurry. I can’t leave the ticker.” Penton dropped his stick and started for the door. “What will you do when you get y here?” he asked as he stood on the threshold. “Make up for lost time. ow, hour,” Van Slater took another look at the ticker, Il, expect us back inside of an “LITRE: “Copper at 65,” he muttered. “But I know it was all right by the tone of her voice. Why didn’t I do it be- fore? That girl loves me, I know. And to think she was so busy—and 1 was so busy. Well, this is a great age we're living in.” Once more he looked in the tele phone book and got a certain num- ber. “Hello! Is the Reverend Mr. Burton in? Yes. This | Mr. ton? This is Mr. Van Slater. How Busy? Say, will you Yes. Come to my of- fice at once, Now. Yes. To marry me. I said, to marry me. Yes. That's right. Too busy to leave. Sure thing. Well, I hope so. Not abso- lutely certain, of course, but I want you to be here; want you on hand in case I need you. All right. Explain later. Thanks. Good-by.” Van Slater rang the bell for his two stenographers. The: almost instantly. “G thin, off are you? do me a favo: appeared rls, I'm going to do an unusual You can take the afternoon Then he turned once more to the ticker. It seemed a long time to wait but in reality it was only an hour and five minutes. She came in with a sweep. Harry Penton waited outside. “Herbert Van Slater, what do you nean by bringing me down here in this unseemly manner?” “ Awfully. sorry. No other to sce you alone. Thought you were safe, anyway. Didn't dream you'd skip off to Europe with a market like this He looked at her fixedly, with a new look in his eyes. He spoke more slowly. “Didn't you know, Kitty,” he said, “that I loved you?” She shook her head. “Why, don't you remember that day in the automobile? That was as near as I got. Somehow you were always busy, and I was always busy and I could never see you alone. (Hello there, Central! Say! Don’t you ring my bell again, understand! Don’t want to be disturbed. Never mind what happens!) I> want to know, Kitty, just a little? ‘No, sir! I positively refuse to let you kiss me!” “Well, at least let me take your Land. Don't you now, honest? “Perhaps. But you neglected me— shamefully.” “But, dearest, [ didn't know you were going away. I couldn't let you do that, you know. It seemed all right, while you were within call— that is, until the market got normal. You understand, don’t you? But, of course, when I heard you were going, that was different. I couldn't let you go.” She raised her face to his. “T understand,” she said. “The fault is not yours, my dear. It is the time and place we are living in. That is the reason why I couldn't go without letting you know.” Van Slater looked a if you don’t love me her wonder- near the ticker, where they could not be seen from the street, and he put his arm round her. “Let me know,” he repeated. “Why, how did you let me know ?” She smiled. “Will you forgive me she said. “This morning I sent Harry Penton down to tell you. ingly as she stepped bac comicbooks.com .