Life, 1905-06-15 · page 13 of 32
Life — June 15, 1905 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Main Cartoon ("The Story of an Untold Love"):** The illustration depicts a wealthy older man in a chair facing a young woman sitting on books. This satirizes courtship motivated by money—the woman is literally elevated by stacks of books (representing education or social pretense), while the man's corpulent appearance suggests excess wealth. The joke targets gold-digging and transactional romance among the wealthy. **"Sonnets of Schooldays":** A deliberately misspelled, phonetically-written poem mocking sentimental love poetry. The humor lies in its crude grammar and its frank admission that romantic love is secondary to the woman's father's wealth and financial prospects ("will furnish munny fore boath u ann shee"). **"Jolt":** Political satire criticizing government waste. Congress approved a $500 souvenir inkstand for the Vice-President's desk while spending millions on battleships. The piece questions the absurd priorities and "fitness" of government spending—why spend $500 on an inkstand when warship costs dwarf it? **"As Usual":** A brief joke about publishing fraud: an author claims his book sold 100,000 copies, but admits it hasn't been released yet.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Sonnets of Schooldays. SONNET OF THE LOVABLE LASS AND THE PLETHORIC DAD, HEE sez shee neavur neavur luvd befoar shee saw me passen bi hur paws frunt dore wenn shee wuz hangen on thee gait anni Lookt foolish att hur wenn ime goen bi. Uv korse sheed hadd sum boze butt nun thatt sturd hart down too itts deppths until shee hurd me wissel ann shee saw mi fais, Ann wenn neavur luv agen iff i shunnd shee furst saw mee sh sheed be a nunn ann b How swete itt is wenn munnys on theethroan cf aloan powr to stur uv life to bee luvd fore ure Ann no thatt u haveottt a woomans hart wenn u jusst look att hur. ann o itts sweeter still iff u kan no hur paw has gott jusst oshuns uv thee doe Ano u jusst hav to furnish luv ann hee wil furnish munny fore boath u ann shee. i wood nott kair iff shee woz poor butt 0 itts dubley swete too no sheez got thee doe. THE STORY OF AN i wood nott hezzetait iff shee wuz poor Too marrie hur. sennt with rite good will tts awl thee bettur stil. ge jusst thee saim athur weed endoor wottever forch butt sins sheeze r ide luv hur in a cot fore luv is such a holey sakerud flaim thatt burns like tindur wenn u strike a lite butt still itt burns moar gloarious ann brite wenn shee has lots uv munny ann hur paw with menny thowsunds is ure fawthernlaw, yw, Foley. Jolt. PATRioTs, which is to bulk of us, read with a glow of satisfaction about the new inkstand which is getting itself provided for the desk of our Vice-President, but with what a rude shock are we not jolted when we come at last to these words : “The limit of cost of the souvenir is five hundred dollars.” There is a painfully inadequate sense of fitness somewhere in Washington. GU SK The idea of paying four or five millions of dollars for a battlest shall never use, wre five hundred for the inkstand into which the pen of states: being dipped, to the glory of the repub- lic and the profit of humanity, is not less than preposte Disturbing doubts crowd thick and If the inkstands cost but five hundred, what, inthe name of decency, is the cost of the cuspidc Is all y to be robbed of its proper dis- on by an extr and mere- ation of gewgaws? nship is constantly fast. DUS EXA As Usual. IRST AUTHOR : Have you sold many copies of your book ? Srcoxp AvTnor (adsently): Won- derful, Over a hundred thousand. “ When was it issu “ Next Tuesday, comicbooks.com