Life — June 8, 1905 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

STILL UNRUFFLED. Uncle Rufus was one of the calmest and mo equable of mortals. Nobody had ever seen him ex cited or impotient, But there came a time th him, The furnace in the basement of his hc STRONG ON SYSTEM. TOO MUCH FOR HER MEMORY. working badly. Ie had been experimenting N SYST nuc . new variety of coal, in which there was a consider able proportion of “slack,” and it did not seen: to be burning. He threw open the door of the tried a At a certain coal mine down exclaimed the fluttering hostess, superintendent was greatly snnoyed from time t 4 kept everybody time by ces moving into and out of the com: me,” replied the young poct; “I have pany’s houses with due notification of their fre waiting.” furnace, ust the end of a long poker deep into the « ing mass, anil stirred it up vigorously. he result was startling. A fierce burst 1 smoke came forth, not only enveloping towns up that way.”"— sfus, but bl quent s of domicite. It became quite im “Helicon? — Wh Another of those pssible to keep the rent accounts straight on the new north-skore places? 1 never can reme the office books, and finally the superintendent, in his ex funny lowing out the fluc-caps in th above, and filling the house with soot and a nidst_ of the excitement Unel exh f symtax, and from the basement with his usu: ayes a His face was black with aney Per was left of his hair and beard was youse With Without be: bel He went to a mirror and took ag himself. Wal, e said, slowly and deliberately needing a shave an’ a haircut, anyway Compa EVOLUTION © . Ix a certain home where thes CHAPTER S _ visited there is a six-year-old son of What is your nar asked the - ‘ : hie washes taken 1h t0. ace the Jol 1 1 the t » he ed: “Oh, mamma, hasn't iat » a, it hasn't any hair!” — Ther n despair, he cried: ‘Somebody cuaeter it n old haby."—aArgonaut “What is your name?" the schoolmast “John Dennis Lemon,” replied the bi ALONZO'S MISHAP. v uly entered QUERY Which was duly emered, * WHEN 1 WAS WATERING THE LAWN, AN BRL GOT IN THR ve Gina Git ne e papers of R. MH, Stoddard that Ripley AND SQUIRMEOD ABOUT SO NERVOUSLY FT FAIRLY DRENCHED Itehcock edited there is a letter which Oliver Wen #] DEVaisen. Leman 4eiponusl (hecroume vis ty CLO’eS. dell Me poct-physician, is. sa © te ceived. This letter was written many yea b who was about to enroll himself as a. student. ME GOT THE Jo8 € t any Pretbel ura neceuance themeaiin An ignorant ce practitioner, and. it is interesting the Civil War the captain of a certain because it shows the low level to whi the early caren . mountaineers was thorough! lart of the last century, it was pos with the laziness of the sixty me < education to fall “M. sk your name?" queried the society th she, is ) : ae tS TistketDalgirede: ‘ the Philadelphia Public Ledger. The letter, verbatim, follows: “Jean D'Ennice Le M pee shame them. One morning after roll<all he “Dear dock I have a pashunt whos abiéopersoriage inthe ope o I have a nice, easy job," he said, ¢ that the winpipe is ulcerated And st was thus ed down. laziest nin the company, Will the 1 a jo his stumick. He is - 2 “ee » to the front fear his stumick toobe is Instantly fifty-nine men stepped forwal have xiv him everything without efeck his “Why to the front, too mand wealthy he and influenshul. 1 the captain, of the sixtieth. nber of the M. F THE END, churel lazy," replied the soldier.—Youth’s want too loose him wot shall Thursd. a ncontribution will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and 1 Ue a yea eed envelope Newsdealers in ¢ Company, Hream’s Bu Chancery Lane, London, E. 2 AGents, Prompt notification should b Ayam WILSON Hunter WHISKEY € isin all the elements of superior quality the That’s All! ve ceeany Sold at all first-class cafes anil by fobbers, MeLANA TRADE MARK New York Central’s Grand Central Station, “22, Wc” comicbooks.com