Life — May 25, 1905 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OOWN IN INDIANA “Wuat is the Dead March sounding for?” said Author-on- Parade, “The cigarette, the cig “And what about t ete," the Hoosier poet sa Auth rette 27 said Parade. “The Legislature knocked it out,” the Hoosier poet said, he dainty corn husk wrappers they are burning left and right, The fragrant corn silk fillers are ablaze in bonfires bright, ‘There aren't many dope sticks in the whole broad te ton And the few that’s left will vanish in he morning “ What are the writers now to do?” said A Parade + We'll have to try the corncob pipe,” the Hoosier poet said. “Tcan not smoke a horrid pipe,” said Authe Para smoke ci: “Then you my s of chew,” Uh poet said, “ For the cigaret y We must chase ’em to the woods, They're pinching every fellow who is captu with the goods The coffin nails are oing—we can paste that in our hoods, And the few that’s left will vanish in the morn “What's that so black against the sun 2" said Author- on-Parade, “The smoke of stogies and cheroots,” the Hoosier poct said, “We'll lose our inspiration now," said Author-on- Parade. “We'll have to smoke another brand,” the Hoosier poet s While wri ming future novels we'll have to bear in The hero in his smoking room, no matter how refined, Must never, never roll a pill, but like some com- mon hind Have his little pipe of baccy in the morning.” —Mitwaukee Sentinel. FEISGORS AT Nal TRUE TO HIS ART. Tne hero of the play, after putting up a stiff fight with the villain, had died to slow music. The audience insisted on his coming before the curtain He fused to appear. Bat the audience still insisted Then the manager, a gentleman with a strong accent, ca to the front. “Ladies an’ gintlemen.” he said, “the carpse th , an’ he’s goin’ to stay nks ye kindly, but hi cad, begobs!” TOO GOOP TO BE TRUE. A NEW FISH STORY. ous existence, it is have to be work for which they “Gaur w said, and T kn’ shrewd to carry out "said M. L. “T was told of the St tement, “AN game warden fow f them pretty the are appoil town out on the at this a little a story in her day which bears e the o stat a man pearing pickere! foreign countries in the Postal 10 cents. ave is for sale by all Newsdea Company, Bream's Build Live is published every Thursday. $5.00 a year in advance. Postage to Jnion, $1.04 year extra. Back numbers, after three months from date of publicatio rs in Great Britain acery Lane, 1 Vo contribution dressed envelope. 7 Prompt notificat Single current copies, BH cent ‘The International News on, F. C., England, Acests. will be returned uniess accompanied by stamped and ad- lustrations in Live are copyrighted, and are not to be reproduced, on should be sent by subseribers of any through the ice. At the side of the little shanty which the fishing was done lay a large pickerel, game warden stole to the hut and threw door. Did you spear this pickerel?” he asked “"L did that! “ “Did you know it is against the law? “Well, you see that fish isn’t dead.’ was the assured response. ‘f have been spearing catfish, and that pickercl kept getting in the way. Thad to jay it lightly and lay it on the ice until I finish fishing Then I will put it back.’ . “The game warden walked off."—M, Ser THE ELEPHANT'S MILK. | A scnootsaster had just finished a leson on oP when a little boy put up his d: on belog asked what he wanted, he replied, “Please, sr, J, said he knew a baby that was brought uj \ phant's 1 every day.” Jones ought not to tell you such rubbish.” said the master; then addressing Jone Tell me whose baby was brought up on ele k | To which Jones hesitatingly repl Vicase, si, | it was the clephant’s baby.""—-The Tatler A Farmer recently paid a visit to bor and as he passed along by the side of « is ke made a mental note of the ccrows were visible. Meeting his itor ned conversation Oates. 1 see you have How do you manage to do well enough,” need was the innocent re for I'm in the fiehls ‘em, myself." —Erchange. Cait a girl a chick and she smiles; call 2 a hen and she howls. Call a young woman teh and she is pleased; call an old woman a witch and she is indignant. Call a girl a kitten and ather likes it; call a cat and she Women are queer, If you call a ma dog, it will flatter him; call him a a cur, and he will try to alter the m called a p of your face. He doesn’t mind being ull or a bear, yet he will object Jas a calf or a cub, Men are men! Lo THEIR ENEMY “Wrat do you think of railway rebates?” sa citizen Any chance of our getting any?” None whateve The T'm a Washington Stor. ange of addre WILSON WHISKEY That’s All! | Hunter Whiskey The Best in Quality The Best in Flavor The Purest Type ‘WM, LANAIAN & SON, Raltimore, Md. Between New York and Chicago in 23% hours... Via New York Central—Lake Shore Route, ..-- “LAKE SHORE LIMITED.” comicbooks.com