Life — May 11, 1905 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

548 A Letter. you EDITOR OF LIFE, New York, N.Y ing the fune re of Scientists, as well, liably informed as to Chris ker G, Eddy, de part of your paper your Tam sure, as pe to her, motives than which no more reward as the ulcate t hich heals and saves Christ Jesus and His di smes asa just reward; me are greatly exag- throng of earnest, God- umbered to-d: ads, Through sheer of the Scriptures, Mrs. has established this new-old re- ers, with gratitude h and reformed lives, rally to the standard pointed to by her. and which they recognize to be the Christ Thanking you for your coartesy, Yours truly, H. Covet orn of restored h Witsox, on Committee. RIL 17, 1905. A Toast. under su nees that it wv nat- ul they should fall into otice,"’ said the first » that althou is winter, you seem to be strange unusually warm. “To am warm said } the second stranger. “I'm is, I f the very underwear th: is double thick- and sweltering. The fact have on a suit heaviest buy. It the money can ness across chest, weighs 2 ton.” tice,” said the again, ‘that you have a sli Are you doin, first anything for it? -LIFE- “Am I exclaimed the second stranger. “Am I doing anything for that cold! That makes me smile. Last night,"’ he continued, with an air of deep pathos, “I had my fect soaked in boiling hot water. I on a large, red-hot mustard plaster that, judging from the feeling, must have covered me from top to toe. I drank four quarts of steaming lemonade by actual measurement, and I'll bet that the blankets I slept under were at least four feet thick. “Have something to console you,” said the first stranger, as he offered him a pure Havana. disconse “T swore off smoking,” ‘about two month: “Have a drink? “T swore off drinking at the same time.” The first stranger looked at him with interest. ever mind,” he “It's all But as long as you said. right, of course. don’t induly watch me? will you come in and I have A toast to give you.”” “Certainly,” the second nger, looking fe y around, They went in and sat down. replied The order was given and filled. “And now,” said the second stranger, inquiringly, “* what is your toast ?” replied the first stranger, as hetically raised his glass. 's to that adorable, charming, and altogether lovely woman whom I know you must have just married."" Tom Masson. The Philosophy of It. MAN was brutally beating his horse. ‘Ho, brother !"" said a good Samar- itan. ‘Why do you beat the poor beast?" “Why!” yelled the man. “Didn't you see it rear and plunge and act like a fool when that automobile passed ?"" “But you don’t expect it to be wise enough to know what an automobile is and not be frightened ?”* “TI doexpect it to know just that much ‘*Then, brother, think the horse has sen 1 seem to as much you have, which is an indirect admission that you have no more sense than the horse."* But the man was too enraged to reply, and again fell to beating the horse. James Ravenscroft. Those Indefatigable Japs. TO I observed a ment in this morning’s paper to the effect that Duke Knowski announces that Rus- state- sia a lon settle with Japan Harry Yes, 1 running account 4 rccount to wks like a interesting,” ob- * | is somewhat served the Colonel, “to note the ; which rious nationalities. intoxicants Having considerable extent, I have perceived that when a French- man has had too much, he wants to dance ; a German to sing ; a Spaniard to gamble; a Britisher to eat; an Italian to bi an Irishman to fight ; and—an Ami various ways in affect the v traveled to a srican to deliver a speech.” comicbooks.com