Life, 1905-05-04 · page 19 of 48
Life — May 4, 1905 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of satirical social commentary: **"You Never Can Tell"** (poem by Wallace Irwin): A critique of American hypocrisy. The text mocks the nation's self-image as democratic and egalitarian while pointing out citizens actually *do* bow to wealth and status—contrary to their professed beliefs. The title and Bernard Shaw epigraph ("You think you do—but you don't") establish the core irony: Americans claim indifference to class distinctions but secretly observe them. References to "the Turk or the Hottentot" reflect period attitudes about perceived American moral superiority. **"Civilization"** (advertisement section): A humorous piece arguing that three "powders"—gunpowder, complexion powder, and sleeping powder—define modern civilization. It satirizes both militarism (heroes need gunpowder) and emerging consumer culture. The complexion powder section mockingly suggests women's liberation depends on cosmetics allowing them public appearance. It's cynical commentary on superficial "progress" and consumerism masquerading as genuine social advancement. Both pieces share skeptical humor about American claims of enlightenment and equality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
You Never Can Tell. “ You think you do—but you don't.” —Bernard Shaw. N the touch-and-; Where the virtues are highly prized, We've a conscience sweet with the mild conceit » of the daily show ‘That we're terribly civilized ; And we're looking down with a Jove-like frown On the Turk or the Hot While we spread our wing ot, like the perfect things Which we (ivk we are—but we're not This nation of ours, as it tells the Powers, Is the land of the free and the brav In God we trust, and we And we have As lal “or we're not in the hooks of Dukes— We think we're not or the sons of the C fierce Grand but we are. The And the humblest Mick in the diteh ; We see no no great span ‘owixt the Congressman arms in a coat of arms, And we don’t bow down to the rich, We never graze with a thankful gaze In the fields of the parvenu ; We never stare at a millionaire— We think we don't—but we do, Wallace Irwin. Chicago. . W/HERE do moons ? you pass your honey. Vewe de | TALEEE | hecceceal STRONGER THAN ATLAS, MAY FIRST. YES, JONN, THEYRE PERFECTLY LOVELY ALL UP, NINE ROOMS, AND ALL DARK fe MODERN IMPROV EMEN ZGALTOIONN Powders. sy to conceive of civili tion prior to the year 1453. For the great powders, viz., gun, complexion and sleeping, have all come into use since that date, Time was when gunpowder necessarily to be smelled by such as contemplated becoming heroes in any large sense, but at present this is only measurably so, The peace sentiment has gotten itself greatly intensified, in late years, and, besides, the sense of smell is by no means what it was. In these di heroes are those had . the grea! who can pick a President in advance, and get solid. Complexion powders have wrought great social upheavals. If it were not for complexion powders, m would hardly have the out in the open and demand her just rights, choosing rather to remain in thralldom than appear public natural colors Sleeping powders come very handy. Nothing else seems to be able to relax the eternal vigilance which is the price of prosperity. y in her comicbooks.com