Life — April 20, 1905 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

458 The Retreat. HIE Russ who fights and runs away d some other What He Overlooked. “y MET Tom town to-day,” said Mr. e, and he told me he expected to be mar- Lester down- Hazzit to his wi ried in a month or so Fifteen minutes later, after finished estions, Mr. Hazzit wrote as follows his wife had askie to his friend Lester : “Dear Tom : tions by return mail, special They cover points I neglected to get from you: “ What is the name of the girl you are to marry ? se answer the following delivery. some * Where does she live * What does her father do? “Where did you meet her ? + Has her father got any money ? + Did her father object ? “What did her mother say ? “Was it love at first sight ? at kind of a girl would you take a fancy to, anyway ? * What in the world did she see in you “+ Is she a blonde or brunette ? “Would it be funny if headed ? ‘+ How old is she ? she were red= * Where are you going to live ? ANY or board 2 “Does she know anythin 2 “What ofar “Where did y ring? you keep hous about houses e her? g did you g ct the money to buy the ave you ¢ ? “How did you a friends? “Are you goin ding? >d position me to be such ‘0 invite us to the wed- “Isittobeac’ “Where are yo ip? + honeymoon nyc Are you going on a honeymoon trip ? “ Does she write to you every day ? * Do you write to her ev * Are you very much in lov “Why did you stop g Kaslimeier ? “Hay “Did posed ? + Did you ask her personally, or write your proposal ? you proposed to other girls ? you look funny when you pro- OUR BOYS. Hau. ERE is our young friend Hall, who lives on the Isle of Man, where the cats have no tails. This is nothing against Hall, however, as he has tales to burn, his little boy is very good indeed, and reads his Bible for plots. nes he gets more plots than he can use, and then he has to wait to catch He isn’t a bad little boy, his only t get rid of his he loves himself not too much. But this being a ent with him, it is not his s not right to blame him. y fond of books, and nself. They are not so other books Some- nd at Lis ve es them hi we know “ For good keep on combing “Will you throw away those actresses’ pictures in your office ? ess sake, is she s you do? re yo 2 Do you think the engagement will be broken before “What is the date of the wedding, e date set for the wedding ? nyway ? a thiok her father will give you a cash present ? * How often ha “Is it that big tall girl you took to the theatre one night last w “Who in the world cai “Why didn’t Task you all this when you told n “Were you so excited you couldn't give me “Doy ‘ou gone to sce her? about, but he makes up in quantity what he lacks in quality, Hall travels a great deal, and going around as he does with himself, he gotten used to himself, so to speak, so that he doesn't mind himself nearly so much as you would think he might. But then he reads, doubtless, all the nice ads. relating to him, which help him to keep on good terms with himself, ‘This little boy looks very much like Shakespeare, as you will notice. You probably wouldn't be able to tell them apart if you saw them together and they didn’t speak or show you what they had written. And then you would, of course, notice Hall's superiority at c any information, but simply had to rave about tting married 2? A prompt reply will help me to give the madam some much-desired information, Next time you tell me you are going to be married, don’t think that is the really important feature about it, “Yours hastily “Prep Hazzit.” To Contributors. N our advertising pages will be found an announcement of Lire’s offer to writers of short storics. comicbooks.com