Life — March 30, 1905 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mapison Square, WEsT introduces for afternoon wear a new model in SHIRTS the frontings and cuffs of which are delicately em- broidered in smart patterns, and the bodies are of fine French crepe. « THE | Yane =» MADE LINEN 15¢ EACH ADRIAN IF YOUR DEALER WONT SUPPLY YOU, WRITE US EMIGH & STRAUB-Dept CC.TROY,NY American industries. Wear a Patronize the creation par excellence of the \| nation. Spring styles now ready. «in all the principal cities in the world, = es = spe howlers of school children are some- times apocryphal, but the Schoolmaster publishes a collection of artless and humorous sayings which are contributed by teachers themselves, The editor, Dr. Macnamara, points out that children’s witticisms are, when authentic, always unconscious. They have not quite caught our meaning—got hold of the wrong word or another word that sounds like it. Hence we get ‘* Lead us not into Thames |station” as the daily prayer of Mr. H. J. Bar- ker’s young cockney, and “The marriage cus- toms of the ancient Greeks were that a man had only one wife, and it was called Monot- ony.” Then, again, the youthful mind is fresh, alert, and not overlaid with impressions. It, therefore, takes 2 view that is refreshingly A vacuum is nothing shut up in a box, he zebra is like a horse, only striped, and used to illustrate the letter Z.” Or, again, two children, being awakened one morning and told that they had a new little brother, were keen, as children are, to know whence and how he had come. “It must have been the milkman,” said the girl. “Why the milkman?” asks her litle brother. “Because he says on his cart Families Sup- plied,” replied the sister. The working of the child-mind, the quaint, homely wisdom and shrewdness that it not in- This leads to fine liveries at moderate prices. For carriage, stable, home, club or hotel. ROGERS, PEET & CO., 258—842—1260 Broadway, (3 Stores) NEW YORK. frequently displays, and the pathos that—so far as the working-class children are concerned —it discovers, are often engrossingly interest- ing. Take the case of the reply to the in spector, who, putting a “mental arithmeti question asked, “If I had thre on this table and your father came in drank one, how many would be left?” “None, sir,” at once replied a very small urchin. “But you don't understand my question.” retorted the inspector, proceeding to repeat it did several times, always receiving the same unwavering assurance, me, sir” At dest he said, “Ah, my hoy, clear you don’t know mental arithmetic tut TP know my father, in, there is the instance of the little chap driven into despera- ing by a wild stretch of the im- Who made the world?" snapped her testy inspector years ago to a class of very small boys. No answer. Several times he repeated the question, getting louder tion and es agination outa ind more incensed each time. At last a poor |) little fellow, kneading his eyes vigorously with his knuckles, blubbered out, “Please. sir, | it was me. But I won't do it any more.” | |\Which recalls the old Scotch chestnut: “Why | did the priest and the Levite pass by on the| other side, my child? had been robbed already!” was the reply. use the puir man Dr. Macnamara rem h fun is got out of the weird ‘notes’ which teachers receive from the poorer class of working ents. I have not dwelt much on these, as T never s one of these ‘notes’ without feeling more in- clined to ery than to langh. Twill only dare to reproduce one myself, * Pleas sur, Jonnie was kep home to-d I have had twins. It shant ocur again, Yours truely Mrs. Smith.’ PRESS OF THE J. W. PRATT CO., NEW YORK, Invaluable to consumpe tives, and all who suffer from throat disorderse Coat Shirts are suted to every figure and every function. They are made on modern methods. In colored shirts the colors stay. $1.s0 and more OLUETT. PEABODY & CO., Makers of Cluett and Arrow Collare, comicbooks.com