Life — March 30, 1905 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE:- To the Rescue. HE young man who, while on a tripto Op to a New York upon her in her own home at the metropolis. “Could you not come to- morrow ?"" said the mai present she is in the hands of hairdresser.” he next day he presented himself once more, The maid sighed. “ Alas, sir, this is the day my mistress takes her hydro- static bath.”” The n day he came again, The maid clasped her hands apologet ly. Ah, my dear sir, madem- oiselle is to-day taking her electric massage. To-mor- row, perhaps.”* y he came once more. The maid was in ‘*My mistress directs me that she still loves you, but she cannot now, on peril of her life, stop the facial treat- an instant that if he was ever to see the girl he loved again, he must resort to desperate measures. Brushing the maid aside, he burst into the house, stumbling as he did so over a pyramid of health magazines, In the reception-room adozen men and women, each with a set of instruments in their hands, waiting their urns. were respective So sudden had been our Hero’s onslaught, that before th ized what h fought his wa the upper ball, Barring all the doors behind him, he stood face to face with the facial man, who did not propose to sive up one of his best customer withot real- done, he had through them into a struggle. leadly hand-to-hand battle with a Hero, ins; “ Dariing,"” he murmured, ‘‘now do you believe I love you?” And she replied gratefully : “Ah, yes. And now that you have indeed rescued me from my awful metropolitan fate, promise, O promise me that you will take me away from town for a spell, where I can recover my health and nervous system.” T. M. Unstable. HE City of Good Resolutions Is a beautiful place to dwell; Its houses are spacious and handsome, Its climate is healthy as well. Statistics, the ruthless, in spite of Salubrious situation, Show no city on Earth can boast of floating population.” Sid. Litchfield. Could It Dangle ? [JARPERS WEEKLY puts an excessive strain on the public imagination when it says - Such a The yellow journals naturally gloat on the notion that Mr. Roose- velt is after Mr, Rockefeller’s scalp, We reserve the utterance of our feelings until we see it dangling at the President's belt. Metaphor is a useful figure of speech, and conducive to liveliness in literary expression, but it must be reasonable, and must convey a picture that the mind can grasp. But i ine Mr. Rockefeller’s We think not, Ip dangling any- It is a useful scalp, and covers efficiently enough an interesting hatful of brains, but when it comes to dan- gling, it isn’t in it. where ? Proportions. IRST RUSSIAN: Had a terrible ightmare last night. Dreamed I was attacked by a giant. p Russtan : How big was he ? Jap.” Unruly. Ae this date A steed, elate, Is harnessed to the Car of State, He's sound and kind And well inclined For everything except—to mind. A bucking steed Of bronco breed feels his feed and fails to heed His little bit A little bit— ) : He hasn't any use for it. We hope and pray righteous cause, got the best of him and threw I out of the window. Then he clasped the girl of his choice once more in his arms. yy yy, ashi Vie. IT'5 SO SOULFUL! IP YOU ARE A MATING R HERO, AND THE POPULAR TASTE Yo rose Lt HIS, WHEN YOU'RE SITTING FOR PHOTOS— IT's NOT NEW, BUT IT's TERKIBLY sweet! That he will stay Upon the Constitution’s way, And lest he stray— Unduly gay— Prescribe less oats and lots of //ay, WOULD MEET,