Life, 1905-03-23 · page 7 of 22
Life — March 23, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains "A True Story," a satirical anecdote about a man attempting to emulate George Washington's integrity at a port customs inspection. The protagonist tries to declare cigars honestly, but the Custom House officer treats this as absurd and suspicious—offering increasingly ridiculous "deals" to make the declaration go away. The satire mocks **corruption in American customs enforcement**, where honest declaration was apparently so rare that officials viewed it as an obstacle rather than duty. The reference to Washington invokes the ideal of American virtue against contemporary institutional dishonesty. The accompanying illustrations—caricatured figures in exaggerated dress—and the section titled "Snap Shots in Hades" suggest darker satirical commentary on corruption in government and maritime trade.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
325 baggage here with you if I can get away ?"" “If you leave your baggage here you will probably never see it again.” “* You are obliging.” “No, sir, I'm not. I'mirritable and nd Tought tobe, When n idiot like y« unreasonabl Te in making it unpleasant for him." The man with the George Washington pose w “Pray, sir,” he remarked, “what have I don I've told truth." ctly,”” replied the C man, ‘Inthe presence of a lot of guys who were hanging around, y« clared ten cigars, which ne end of trouble and red tape. Now, if you'd shown you didn’t have any, given me a private tip, and handed me over five of them, you would now be on your way uptown. Young man, you don’t know your business, and when we find an American citizen entering this port who is inclined to tell the truth, we soak it to him.” » I take pleasure astonished, & “<0 iS a SNAP SHOTS IN HADES. Orator: Now WE COME TO MIS SATANIC MAJESTY'S SCHOOL OF CORRESPONDENCE FROPLE WHO NEGLECTED TO ANSWER THEIR LETTERS ARE DOO! TINUALLY FOR TWO THOUSAND YEARS. eRe TH TO WRITE COv- A True Story. HIE man who was fool enough to think it was not too late in the day to emulate the example of George Washington walked down the gangway of the steamer and approached the Custom House officer in the spirit of perfect candor. “ Have you anything to declare ?"’ asked that individual. “Sixty Havana cigars.”’ “Your baggage is held. I will send for an appraiser.”’ “Lam allowed to bring in fifty cigars free, am I not?” nd you are holding me for the ten? “Here they are. They cost me five cents a vana. I'make you a present of them.” I cannot accept them." “Then permit me to throw them overboard and pro- Z- ceed on my way.” ~ “You cannot do that.” “Then permit me to leave them with you, and iece in Ha- allow me to proceed.” SUGGESTION FOR A FANCY ORESS PARTY. May I leave my “ay Lay. Nicotine.” * Impossible.” “T have an important enzagement which involves much. comicbooks.com