Life — March 9, 1905 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

280 High Financial Alphabet. F DR the easy and speedy teaching of letters to the ofisprings of the mushroom rich, A is for argent, the French name for cash; B is for broker, who never C is for cush, a thi D is for diamond, most E is for eagle, a small piece of chan; F is for finan G is for gold, which above a in which de Is we arrange: things we prize IL is for donor, whie pall must despi I is for en or more ofte and Which we hope will not cease gold bricks ; HW tricks ; J is for judg K is for &itin Lis for amb, whom you always must fle up Mis for money, © N is for weckla O is for opal, ag P is for pa Q is for guack, who writes on finance ; «dour god h often a fraud ; ade ic, where fortunes 3 made ; I is receiver, who ends up the dance ; S is for stocks, which are mere paper; V is for trusts, w h make jovernments caper; U is the aion, which will soon be ourown ; V is for voter's, to be left strictly W is for Wall Street, where all lone 5 ad things Nisa ¢enner, at luncheon to blow ; vt © yacht, where we throw aside cares ; Z is the ses¢ shown in money affairs, Unhappy Monarchs. HE co rope of the Kings of E soc bad © for serious tien, Bad jalistic consi unwholesome food all contributed to deterio: parently, ndden and depleted class but forming then shorter working hours a come when Kings, properly ake their own te: and by devoting some of their leisure lifting themselves above their present unhappy will be able to time to thought, may succeed and deplorable st Unless this is done, however, the likely to be Let us hope that every King, under the influ f a new regime, may in time be ce of Kings is me extinct, me free and self-respecting, and be able to hold up his head serenely in common with every other workman in the land. *LIF Es Censure. {EETING of the Western Branch of the Young Woman's Literary Aid Society for the betterment of mankind met last week and passed the following resolutions anent Nature: Nature is immoral and her practises ald be carefully avoided by those who wish to reach the highest life. Her well-known extra’ shi ance is a matter of the commonest observation foliage, light and color gre it. The most successfully deceitful animals are those thrive best. Nat nal pa are permits the children of crimi- rents to multiply and those of the best people to divide, Therefore resolved: That hereafter this Society Books upon her, however, may be read, if written by members or their intimate friends. IRST HEN: The price of eggs is the same as last week, isn’t it? Stcoxp Hen : Just the same. And here we have been laying to beat the band, What's the use, any trying to buc! against these trusts ANAGER OF TROUPE (¢ndi nantly): What, only one dress ing-room in the theatre?) That won't do. Hous Manacer: Why? Ain't the crowd on speaking terms ? OUR BOYS. Nricwonas HIS is little Nick the place whe: who lives in e the Bombs come from. Nicky is a qu peaceful little boy, who goes on the principle that one t ata time is enough, and sometimes more than enough, to meet all require- lives in a large palace tothe right ou cross the Baltic, in a ntry full of servants, taxes and explo- sives. Everybody was afraid of Nicky for a long time, and they treated him as if he would eventually own the earth. But one day he got into a scrap with a little brown chap who lived in the Mon- golian quarter, and now Nicky isn’t in a splendid he has to time, and warm back yard that he can use fora summer resort. But he i still clinging to his ear-muffs, like sensible boy. he wan! and s his prayers for the poor soldiers, are willing He goes to church every Sunda who love him so much th to be murdered for him. He is also very fond of boats, and has whole fleets of them that he sends out from time to time—when a new supply is needed, Nature be tabooed by every member of comicbooks.com