Life — March 9, 1905 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE: The One Thing Needful. t trusts, and you'll be so busy you won't ERTRUDE wept what | want, But T know what Id G “Lam. only twenty-one want. [will give you one week to find — have time to think,” ve the answer, and if you don't do any And Gertrude actually laughed as Tl tell she replied ymplained, “but my parents h money that they can gratify better than you have de » mucl ny desires.” papa to pay you two weeks’ salary in “I congratulate you heartily, for you vor old father felt her con- udlvance and let you go.” have succeeded. Hereafter I feel that dition keenly The inventor thought of his wife, 1 am destined to be a happy woman.” It is a pity,” he observed, “that whom he adored, and his fourteen Tom Masson. life | allowed y my perspective, As it is, by Practice and Precept. working too many widows and orphans I have only the means wherewith to y ambition to children, whom he took an interest in arly ert PON an urn of beaten lead This lengthy epitaph I read : happy Here lies Lysander Grime. He folded his daughter in his arms, The rules Me never bath In fact, he hadn't time, : A diet he despised, “Alas!” he murmured, “it is T who am or exercised — ng your blonde hairs in about to bring wrrow to the grave, With unlimited His simple breakfast did consist OF ce Which hastily he swallowed, cash, it appears that you have but ‘ limited cravings, and yet dees this not fee and a ‘doughnut twist," rgue on your part some defect? Can you not invent some new desires? Gertrude thought deeply JS 1 minute—which was the limit of her girlish capacity go “Why not hire an inventor?" she dat last ior her experience had His luncheon it was simpler yet— Straight whiskey and a cigarette, And then more cof followed, When summer heat began to rage, He took vacations a la Sage fer still ; i And when he felt a pain within He tippled y With now and then a pill, Ry working har not too joyo! nwever, y taught ap- t medicine, her not to bank too highly on * In winter time And took the of novel he shunned the air id the father: “Done! ubway everywhere, ventor was immediately hired, For fear that he might (reeze. . ie is off rom drafts secu} nto Gertrude’s young life H from drafts secure, Maintained an even temperature i pleasures uiticipation Of ninety-five degrees, There is only one thing we +The thing that killed Lysander Grime Was lack of proper t i said the inventor, who ans and time to lived on th | fu To follow mere * hy-jeen." with a fat wife and fourteen He worked himself to death, poor man, and spoke W experience Editing leetures—for he ran s te love and he loved \ Health Food Ma Burt tirely out of zine f ce Irwin, “Gertrude.” who is manly Racial. living. is ber ec. eding, a 1 to his tenth-floor . . fe-insthe sane best _ lat WO Italians lately over from the we no i ms to offer me.” At the end of six days he came land of sunny skies and high art My:child. said the inventor crim were at work ina trench, They did siliflon cencnat sree ifcan Welle" said Gertrude, impatiently, BUt Seem to be able to handle the pick refuserio leave Get cons Hive you found Gi? ‘ properly. The contractor called two Itis not,” repliedGertrud “Toy i thie TaVCHSE. 6 Irishmen to teach the “dagos"* how to , pene: 7 An cod - work. After the lesson was over, Pat hat ony condition is Mt irkse lently will admit that you . } 1 a4 ne was heard to say to his comrade, in a ut simply thet ye not offering 1 trouble is not your fault but is the ) Hetiads \ is it the voice of scorn: * Moike, nything better, Don't you see that It of your innocent old father, He loikes o' them they make Popes out ertrained.” Yes—I admit t n, devote the rest of your ney back where it | . takes ladies create scandals, no man who is capable of loving the right way would dare marry 1 And the probability is that I would take with s or. My dear in- life d_ gentle ng his ventor, yor 1 goose. I don't k came from, He is at the head of seven comicbooks.com