Life, 1905-03-02 · page 35 of 44
Life — March 2, 1905 — page 35: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and filler content** rather than political satire. The main text is a humorous poem titled "Pro and Con" about Adam in the Garden of Eden, imagining his discomfort seeing prehistoric creatures after drinking "forty per" (whiskey), apparently from *Harvard Lampoon*. Below that is "His Specialty," a anecdote about **President Roosevelt** (appears to be Theodore Roosevelt based on context) at a campfire with John Burroughs, John Muir, and cowboys. A "statesman" declines sharing adventures, claiming he's "simply out of sight in a hack"—a self-deprecating joke about being unremarkable compared to Roosevelt's famous outdoor exploits. The page is otherwise filled with period advertisements for collars, shirts, suspenders, leg straighteners, telephones, and rubber heels—typical early 1900s consumer goods marketed through humorous or health-focused appeals.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
«THE Wane =» MADE LINEN MARINE IF YOUR DEALER WONT SUPPLY YOU, WRITE US EMIGH & STRAUB-Dept C.C.TROY,NY| Pro and Con. the days of the creation, Says the scientists’ relation, There were creatures of the most appalling mien. | Even the fabled Ichthyosaurus, Would be like an angel chorus, we'd seen the creatures Adam must have seen, | And I pity Mister Adam, If the fellow ever had ‘em, er having sundry drinks of forty per. He, in visions beatific, Must have seen some things terrific, © saw things worse than what these really were. { should deem it rather risky, After prehistoric whiskey, alphabetic b He must have a bromo seltzer, asts before his eyes. Manvfacture something else, or ilave a head next morning of tremendous size, T In that Which, I fear, When Ata minute past eleven, was still this one advanta -shirt-or-par didn’t quite appre led for number seven, There was no one then to tell him, ** Just too la Hart ard Lampoon. His Specialty. Alt men cannot be heroes, It must be try- ing for one who is not a hero to be in © company of those who are, and to hear cir thrilling stories. The New York Tribune represents, let it be ped truthfully, that the President, John Bur- mighs, John Muir, two or three “statesmen” ud two cowboys were once sitting round a ump-fire in the West, “swapping” ancedotes. After most of the members of tie party had ated encounters with wild beasts or Indians r both, Mr. Roosevelt turned to one of the statesmen” and asked him for a contribution o the stock of adventures. He declined. “There are no thrilling natural istory experiences in my career. Lions, In- dians, bears and wild horses have never come cross my path. I am undeniably a tenderfoot. In fact, T have never been on horseback in my life, but,” ine added, solemnly, “I am_ simply Waiting for you. everything any liveried servant wears, Indoors or out. ROGERS, PEET & CO. 258—842—1260 Broadway 3 Stores) NEW YORK Made for men lookin; for the maximum o! wear atthe minimum ofcost, Fast color fab- rica, They're $1.00 and $1.2, Cluett, Peabody & Co. STRAIGHT LECS f yours are not y will appear straight and trim ou wear our ‘or Cushion Rubber Forms, instantly. Impossible to de- tect, easy as.a garter, fivghty recom mended by army and navy officers, actors, tailors, physicians and men ol fashion. Write for photo-llustrated book and testimonials, mailed under Pies letter seal, HE ALISON CO., Desk D5, Buffalo, N. Y Have Youa Telephone? out of sight in a hack.”"—Youth’s Companion. The presence of President Suspenders is realized only by the satis- factory way in which they perform their work. Insist on the President if you want the best sus pender. Most dealers carry them, even though they do not show them. Made in three weights light weight for des! ers—medium weight for ordinary wear—heavy weight for muscle workers; also, extra lengths for large men and small es for youths and boys. pair guaranteed, G0", THE A. MFG. CO, HIKLE, MASS, If yourdeal- er docs notor will mot sel you Pr, dent Su penders, send 50 centstous, We will send thesus penders and the name of a dealer who will, Mew York Telephone Co. if not, you incon- venience both your business and per- sonal friends who wish to communi- cate with you. 15 Dey Street. HEELS©OFNEW RUBBER which makes walking healthful and delighttal, A Prominent scientist is quoted as saying = that the rae man, weighing 10 Ibe. assumin ‘walks three miles daily, lifts 188,000 1ba."" onder; you may 8 O’Snlifvan’s cost (0 cents attached, no more than the pot-half-so-good imitations, If dealers can't sup. ply, send 85 cts, with diagram of heel to the makers O’SULLIVAN RUBBER CO., Lowell, Mass. MAVE THAT SPRINGY NATURE wit Jaron the epine at eben you of old rubber. comicbooks.com