Life, 1905-02-16 · page 9 of 24
Life — February 16, 1905 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece mocks George Washington's character and legacy. The text presents a revisionist (and clearly tongue-in-cheek) biography claiming Washington was undemocratic, despised American citizens, and abandoned the country in disgust after the Revolutionary War. The cartoon below depicts what appears to be a figure (likely representing Washington or a contemporary politician) scolding two others over their use of profanity, with the caption sarcastically praising their "everlasting good." The satire appears to critique either Washington's actual reputation or—more likely—contemporary political hypocrisy, where leaders present themselves as moral exemplars while their actual conduct contradicts their public image. The piece uses exaggeration and ironic praise to expose perceived inconsistencies.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-LIFE- 193 A Few Additional Facts Concerning George. EORGE WASHINGTON was a British subject when he first came to Virginia; but by industry, patienceand pugnacity he became the father of his country, divorced the mother country, transformed himself into an American citizen, and left no children to prove what small fruit can grow on big trees. Virginia, when George arrived there, was not demo- nd ideas ; so many of its citizens had come there reluctantly and compulsorily, it could not afford to fool with Jacksonian theories ; were directed towards the growth of coons, trouble and » and the manufacture of first f s of ily had the proud distinction of hav- cratic in its opinions id its energies ies and arms. Geo ing paid its © to America bills, h Washingtons stood high in a community which hated and as it paid its and was easily touched, the hookkeey bad lai keener interest in the fox and his hunting than in Fox and his Book of Mar- tyrs. Virginia loved and lived by tobacco; and it ng, set the dogs on duns, loved good liquor and and took a was the gospel according to Virginia which taught that he who did not smoke in this world would surely do so in the next In this idyllic spot Wash- ington was born and raised. As a boy hewas large, bash- ful and slow to humor ; he grew up with a love for honesty, agriculture and the pursuit of wild beasts ; he eschewed law and studied land surveying, since real estate was more plenty than clients and more profitable than litigation, In the happy British col- ony of Virginia, George Washington early devel- oped military tastes, and his excursions with British troops taught him how easy they were in a country where fighters had to be either shooters or scooters. George to join him in capturing Pittsburg, then undiscov- ered by Andrew Carnegie. he went alon, mis- givings, since he knew the British army, and carried no life insurance. He went ; and when he and the other sur- vivors returned to Virginia without seriously injuring Pittsburg, had the consolation of knowing that British strategy, properly understood and applied, was a great aid to the other fellow ; and he stored it away for future use. When the nd the French had departed for Europe, King George said: ‘* How shall I reward the loyal colonists who did most of the work?” A wise min- ister said : “ The greatest favor you can do your faithful subjects in America is to let them pay for the war ex- penses ; the grand old Mother Country must be content with honor and glory.” The King, with tears in his ro: eyes, said: “I will make this sacrifice. Tax their tea ; put trading stamps on their hats, and let them sing ‘God Save the King.” The ungra was ov eful Americans grumbled, and made a tem- pest in a teapot ; and then they got out their guns, called in George Washington, hypnotized the French into com- ing over to gather the victories they forgot on their last visit, and so irritated the benevolent Bri! that he abandone sh monarch, st and d in di Americ ined to rule over it any more. The rude inhabitants bore up “LAND SAKES! DID IT HURT YOU, HEZEKIAH?” When Braddock, a bold “WELL, SHOULD YOU JUDGE, FROM THE CHARACTER OF THE LANGUAGE I'VE JUST BEEN USIN British battler, invited = THAT IT DID ME ANY EVERLASTING Goop ?” comicbooks.com