Life, 1905-02-09 · page 7 of 22
Life — February 9, 1905 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two separate pieces: **Left section ("The Reason Why"):** A satirical story about theater-goers during a matinee performance, likely from the early 20th century. The humor centers on women audience members scrambling to collect their belongings before the curtain falls, creating commotion. The punchline reveals they rush because they're "New Yorkers" who must catch trains or boats—implying New Yorkers are perpetually hurried and impatient. The satire targets urban rushing culture and female theater-goers' priorities. **Right section ("Moments of History"):** Two brief anecdotes. The first depicts Aesculapius (Greek god of medicine) discovering appendicitis. The second shows a mother declining to tell her child a fairy tale, saying the father will return home with one instead—likely mocking men's tendency to exaggerate or fabricate stories. The illustrations are period ink drawings typical of Life's satirical style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
**The Reason Why.” I Y was the last three minutes before the curtain was rung down on the new drama which had held en- chained a vast audience—an audience of women, for the ‘aturday matinée. And bout composed. large now the heroine and villain were to explain their erratic behavior. this climax had been woman herself in But althoug breathlessly awaited, ever: present feverishly occupicd collecting her belongings, a process ne- cessitating voluble conversation, pro- fuse apology and much searching on the floor for pocket-books, goloshes, hi handkerchiefs, ornaments, violets, small pack, lorgnettes, samples, cough- drops, and so on to infinit “Oh, they are putting on their mon- strous s so that I cannot see the sta cried an impatient girl, unused to this discipline of the spirit; “and they are scraping their feet along the floor and I cannot hear the end of ntly, “one of he face with pins, veils, gloves, muffs, boas, the play them hi her golc “Be t Ah!" indigs slapped me it said a woman beside her, to whom age had taught tolerance and “be brave,” she urged, calmly removing a neighbor’s hatpin from her cheek and staunching the flow of blood upon the chiffon veil of the woman in fr of her, ‘ will never se dof the pl. You might come again and again; resignation ; they will never let you hear those last explanatory lines.” “But why, why?” asked the perplexed child. “Why do they not wait until the curtain falls before beginning their unseemly. scrambles “Be answered the older woman, “They are use they are New Yorke always rushing off to catch a train of boat or to meet an engagem “How restful it must be for them they “They are th comfort ta ntance x il!” sighed the girl 1 forced to take a little ath-bed leisure.” returned her chance “They do not permit waste any time even then, That is the reason why pneumonia and appendicitis are their favorite dis- cases.” Mrs, Wilson Woodre: ble, d qua selves m= Moments of History. SCULAPIUS had a fine new case of instruments stood before the patient in a keen dilemr “What am I to do?’ knife absently. “Her fine slice of, b alg pen before him, yet urmured hopelessly, as he sharpened his carving How with s! ht get a regret) ‘ appendicitis thers of money which I mig > deepes| hasn't yet been discovered. iV, Goatees I'm sosleepy! Won't “No, my child, not now. Wait a please tell me a fairy story little while and your father will come before I go to bed ?”* home and tell us both one!” comicbooks.com