Life — December 15, 1904 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

\.COLD HEART. ME AND OTHERS. A Fresziep Fantasy oF Fatuity, FINANCIAL Scene: A Gas House at Midnight, A tre- mendous rumbling sound tn the distance, indicating the approach oj some impor- tant person. A grand display of fire- works takes place, and in the midst of tt appears Tommy Lawson, of Boston, clad in a suit of solid brass armor, He ad- vances rapidly to the front, preceded by a regiment of printers’ devils, Si or M etre. Tos, W. Lawson. With a sense of proud elation I must modestly admit Asa genuine sensation I am positively with proper approbation should view my antics when You perceive each new gyration of my pyrotechnic pen. . And you My name is Tommy Lawson, And my rapier so keen My enemies I toss on, With agility serene. My critics dub me silly and a monu mental ** blow,” But my virtue, like the lily, is as white as driven snow. "LIF E+ It is true I'm out for glory, but it surely can't be wrong, When you're stringing out a story that is short, to make it long. My name is Tommy Lawson, I am Everybody's pet; And I guess I've got a horse on All the grafters I have met. Corus or Printers’ Devits. He's a genuine Sensation, we admit with great elation, as we watch him throw each fit. Here's hurrah for Tommy Lawson and the grafters he's a he's positively ‘* It."" They dance around him in jrex fervor, whtle cannons boom in the dis- tance, and sky-rockets chase themselves through the circumambient air, The pro- rybody's Mag then and, ajter doing him proper homage, begin to tie certified checks as garlands around his classic brow, when suddenly the lights grow dim, and to the music of a Baptist hymn, two solemn figures advance to the front, accompanied by a Sunday School class, and a corps of private secretarics, all holding Stand- ard Oil lamps. The two figures bow projoundly while the entire audience prostrates itself. and they then deliver themselves of the following prictors of come ¢ Durr. Wittiat axp Joux Rocke FELLER, Our piety, You'll all agree, Is something quite astonishing; And our chief concern At each market turn Is in wicked folks admonishing. Just think how it must make us feel To have this Lawson chap reveal Our sacred lives, which, with such care, We guard with fasting and with pr: And yet 'tis meet that we should be Quite humble in adversity And meek and mute, magnanimous, Accept what he hands out to us. For oh, we guess Our righteousness Will stand what Lawson pokes at us; And while the oil Holds out, we'll toil And pray for him who jokes at us, horse on; for , Crorus or Private SECRETARIES AND Pious Propte. ‘They are a meek and righteous pair, whose piety's astonishing, And while Tom Lawson hands it out, the wicked they're admonishing. At this moment the strains of martial music are heard, and Henry H. Rogers. dressed as a drum-major, rapidly ad vances to the music of “A Conquering Hero Comes.” All stand aside as he presses forward. Sone or Supremacy. H. H. Rocers. My eyes have all the colors of the ocean in commotion, And I'm king of all the cash that I survey; From the widows and the orphans is distilled my daily potion, Which gives me strength to carve my lordly way. With discrimination keen I can tell the fat from lean, I'm a chap oj quick dev With my finger on the prices, My heart has all the qualities, patrician, of ambition, I am lovable in ways you wouldn't think; I'm a brother and a comrade while the deal is in transition; vhen you serve me— With a touch of power supreme As a trickster I'm a dream, t of me they also tell, oh! Uma really first-class fellow, A TURKEY SANDWICH, comicbooks.com