Life — December 8, 1904 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ple |) alc i WI ‘cl AT THE ENO OF THE SEASON 1 met a little quarterback, He was a bird, he said, There were some scars upon his face And bumps upon bis head. “Our bunch is to the bad," said he, “We are a crippled crowd This morning when 1 looked them 0’ I swear I we “How many are there on T asked t ful lad, “How man ave before They put you to the bad?” “Alas,” said he, “a few are here, And some, 1 trust Refore the season opened up I think we were eleven. “We were a sassy bunch,” quoth he, Before we got our pull back. Two of us in the churchyard lie— Our centre and our fullback. “Our right guard broke his vertebra, Our left guard lost an arm; am the only player left Who has not met with harm.” sought to ascertain from him How many were in heaven; But he could only weep and s “Kind sir, we were eleven —Milwaukee Sentinel, RECESSIONAL FOR WIVES. \ “Remember that you are only your husband's help meet, Do not forget that you were created for your husband."—Alrs, Stone, anti-twoman suffragist. Ross of our fathers, feared of old, Known by the farflung rolling pin— Yet in your ears soft tales were told When man set forth your hand to win, A helpmeet then you vowed to be Through his prosperity or debt; You said none was so grand as he— Lest you forget; lest you forget! As out of chaos worlds were formed And out of darkness burst the light, So you upon man's vision swarmed And charmed him with your glances bright. He never dreamed your slender hand A grim grip on his hair would get; We mention this, you understand, Lest you forget; lest you forget! The tumult and the shoutings rise, The captains and the kings depart oR il NLLv C When from your land the saucepan flies, Hinttipped dart s home at 3 A. My Unerring as When man cc Ry no glad welcome is he met. Sad facts!’ We merely mention them Lest you forget; lest you forget! The floral fetters fade to gyves, Romance throws up its hands and swoons When we are told how many wives \re wearing hubby's aloo! © woman, go and cook his meals, Or else life's scheme will be upset. We only send up these app. Lest you forget: lest you forget! NATURE & COS FALL SALE. Do you want some nice persimmons? We have just a lovely line; They are plump and fat and juicy, And are really very fine: But be quick if you would purchase JUST HIS LITTLE WEIGH, Ere the 'simmon season's past— Bear & "Possum buy quite largely, And they're going very fast. Or perhaps you need adornments, Decorative things and such? We've a line of leaves and branches That no, other house can touch; But you'll have to order quickly, Come inspect ‘em while they last— Wind & Gale are large investors, And they're going very fast. If for nuts you're in the market, We have quite the finest stock, And our lovely line of acorns Fairly makes the buyers flock; But though we control the output, And our varied stock is vast, Squirrel Brothers still are buying, And they're going very fast. Louisville Courier-Journal, A NUMERICAL MISTAKE. “Privat Mien tells us of an old-time pol. tician of Mississippi who was making a personal can vass of his territory. “One day,” relates Mr. Men, “the statesman was doing the southern portion of the State. Suddenly he struck a community that appeared fairly a-swarn with children. Never had he seen so many little ones in so small a place. Clustered about one doorway were some fourteen tots of varying ages. In their st stood an extremely good-looking young woman, “*Madame,’ said the politician, with a ga ‘ow must permit me ‘to kiss these charming 1 nes. “The woman merely smiled, “After he had affect tely saluted e: he asked, with a genial smile, ‘All yours? fh of them, rhe young woman blushed. “The statesman, with another bow, then said, ‘1 trust, madame, that I may further trespass upon yosr |] xood nature by asking that you will be so good as to inform your husband that Colonel —, candidate for Congress from this district, called upon him this after noon.” ‘Pardon me,’ gasped the woman, ‘but I have po husband!" “ "But these children, madame!’ exclaimed the astonished statesman, ‘You are not a widow” “Oh, no, sir!’ was the reply. ‘This is an orphan J asylum Woman's Home Companion, THE BUSINESS CLERGYMAN. A young minister was called a few years ago toa church.in a thriving Eastern ‘city. had.been a,well-known preacher whose sermons had attracted. large congregations, but whose expressed be lief was that, the clergyman’s single duty was the spiritual. welfare of his people. The church had failed to megt current expenses for several years, and its. considerable‘ debt_was. increasing with mechanical regularity. The newcomer was not a wonderfal orator, but he had a firm mouth and jaw. Withie two years he-was at-theyhead jof a smoothly run: business organization: whose departments were hand by men who understood ‘their work and did it, whieh ounted its bills, and. reduced its old indebtedoess. The church had become a working church. “The church,” he said one day, “is a tempor! organization doing an entirely practical work. Bos ness integrity is as necessary to its continuance, ard definite achievement is as-necessary to its advance, 3 in any other temporal organization.” “Your predecessor was right, however,” spoke 99 one of his leading members, with a smile; “he always said the Lord would provide; the Lord did proviee you."—Leslie’s Monthly Magazine. His predecessor Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain, The International News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. | The | Egyptian Cigarettel] — | WILSON WHISKEY That’s All! of Quality AROMATIC DELICACY— MILDNESS— PURITY apt |b Bet New York and Chi in 24 hours... = 46] - r Via New York Gentral_Lake Shore Routes... “LAKE SHORE LIMITED] & comicbooks.com