Life, 1904-12-01 · page 54 of 64
Life — December 1, 1904 — page 54: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains primarily **advertising** (Peerless automobiles, Studebaker sleighs and carriages) and humorous fictional sketches. The main satirical content is the poem **"In Storage Again"** by W.D. Nesbit. It's a post-election piece (referencing "Nineteen Hundred Four") using extended metaphor: a storage man warehouses political campaign rhetoric and slogans from the recent election. The poem catalogs worn-out political phrases and arguments—"Bitter Fray," "Roorless Roorback," "Campaign Lies," appeals to patriotism and labor—as though they're physical objects being packed away until the next election cycle. The joke targets the predictable, recycled nature of American political discourse: the same tired arguments, false claims, and emotional appeals resurface every four years. The remaining short fiction pieces ("A La Chasseur," "Not Difficult for the Little Girl") are unrelated social humor sketches—not political satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
. t Drive Tooting Cars id endurance. They run noit lessly and without vibration. Four- cylinder vertical motors (easily accessible), 24 to 35 horse power, ing gear transmission (four speeds forward), direct tran: direct drive on high speed, slid- / mission of power to rear axl luxurious side door tonneau $3 miles an hour epeed andy yet as easily controlled as a light runabout. $5,700 to $6,000 New Peerless Catalog sent on request | Peerless Motor Car Co, Cleveland, 0. Mem Ass'n Licensed Automobile Mire WINTER comes accompanied by the merry jingle of sleigh bells. Our patrons in the North will be especially interested in the complete line of Studebaker Sleighs now on view. They repre sent models of eminent merit, and can be confidently offered as typical tudebaker productions. The entire display of slei hs comprises a part of the compre- hensive collection of vehicles which are shown at our repositories, STUDEBAKER BROS. New YoRK CITY, Bway & 7th Av. at 46th St. KANSas 810 t0 $146 Walnut Factor together with Studebaker harness and every accessory’ for equipage and stable. The 1905 Studebaker and the im- proved 2 and| cylinder Gasoline Touring Car wilt soon be ready Jor inspec- ton, Designs fiir- nished ou application. MFG. Co. REPOSITORIES HAN PRANCIECO. CAL. Cor. Market & 10to Sta, PORTLAND, ORF, 380 to 26 E. Morrison st. DENVER, Cot. Cor. 18th & Blake Si, SALT LAKE CIty, UTAM, 157 to --9 State St DALLAS. TEEAS, 317 to 319 Elm St Locat Agencies Beeryenere, In Storage Again. HE storage man hopped off his van and oped the warehouse door; He stowed away one Bitter Fray, one Let-the-Eagle-Soar, One lot of Planks, ten Serried Ranks, one Stainless Honor’s Wreath, One Roorless Roorback and a Box of Hurl It in Your Teeth; He stored a score of Open Door, a gross of Solid South, And May My Tongue Then Cleave Unto the Roof-tree of My Mouth, Across the planks with jangling clanks he flung some Labor's Chains; He tossed beside a Point with Pride a Last Drop in My Veins; The Nation's Hope he tied with rope and bore within his arms ‘To where there loomed a mourniul lot of Viewing with Alarms: A choice atray of Despot’s Sway and Here We Take Our Stands He wrapped in rolls of Noble Souls and Honest Horny Hands With joyous grin he carried in The Precepts We Pursue, The Money Kings, and Grafting Rings, and Common Peepul, too; One Standing Firm, a But-One Term, the Records of the Past, And put them in the corner with Our Flag’s Nailed to the Mast. With hands ungloved he pushed and shoved a gross of Campaign Lies, Together with some point and pith about Our Country's Size. When he had stowed away the load he shut the warehouse door And muttered, “Whoo! I'm glad we're through with Nineteen Hundred Four! js campaign stuff is good enough, but it is getting worn— I noticed that the Nail the Lie was tattered some, and torn; But, anyhow, it’s over now, and they've been put away Until, perplexed, we view the next approaching voting day.” —W. D. Nesbit in Chicago Tribune. “A La Chasseur.” OUNG Mrs. Vinton looked over the fence that separates her back yard from Mrs. Hardy’s, and her pretty face was troubled, says the Chicago News. “Mrs. Hardy!” she called, softly. “Yes, What is it?” and Mrs. Hardy’s matronly figure appeared in her kitchen door. 5 “I'm so sorry to trouble you,” Mrs. Vinton went on, “but will you tell me some good way to cook clay pigeons? Jimmy has just sent me word that he is going out to shoot some. He's bound to bring a lot home, and I haven’t the remotest idea how to prepare them.” Not Difficult for the Little Girl. RS. MAUDE HOWE ELLIOTT tells of a conversation that once took place in a friend’s house in Boston in which there were dis- cussed certain phenomena of the mind. Some one observed that it was a curious fact that no man could do one thing and think of another. During the discussion a little girl of ten, the daughter of the host, was listening attentively. “I can do one thing and think of another,” she said. “What is it?” asked her father, “Well,” she said, “it is very easy for me to say the Lord’s Prayer and think of almost anything else I want to. I do it every night.”—/Harper's Weekly, ‘A COUNTRY sexton in England officiated at a funeral clad in a red waistcoat. At the conclusion of the obsequies, the vicar gently remonstrated with the old grave-digger, saying: “Robert, you should not wear a red waistcoat at a funeral; you hurt the feelings of the mourners. Robert replied, placing his hand on his breast: “Well, what does matter, sir, so long as the heart is black ?”—dArgonaut. O you—aw—believe in the—aw—theory of evolution, Miss Wise~ that we all—aw—spring from apes, don't you know? . The beautiful girl hesitated. “I never used to,” she replic« finally — ¢ York Press. comicbooks.com