Life — December 1, 1904 — page 48: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IMPORTERS Bolero in 37 Union Square WEST HYLO Electric Lamps mean luxury with ecovomy—Save $76 turned down, Fitany electric fixture. No skill, no toola, required to tnstall the (TYLO. Tooks Uke the common electric bulb, hat by a stzbt turn of the bulb, of by polling a cord. you change it from 16 candle power to 1 candle power. With ordinary electrfe bulbe you pay for fall 1 candle power when 1 candle power would be more appropriate and pleasant. The cconnmy Ia apparent. In halla, {a bedrooms, in sick rooms, full light is extravagant and uncomfort- able ~total darken, dangeroas and fecoavenient, ‘Then think of the luxury. After tho hard work of the day to sit jn the brary, or must room, with a roft, Subdued light, to think, to enjoy restfulnens. Tart the HY!O your necemdty 1 HYLO Electric Lamps mace tn many styles and candle-power combinations. by electricians and demartment stores If the name « YLO fs not insl 46 the bulb, Its not the genuine, Send for free Catalogue and “How to Read Your Meter.” THE PHELPS CO., 3 State Street, Detroit, Mich. FURRIERS AND Ermine and Chinchilla Unabashed. HENIE was the last of nine cooks with whom Mrs. Blank had had to deal in less than four months, and the portly, good-natured African’s abilities were such that her mistress hoped that her tribulations in regard to “kitchen help” were at an end; but by the time two weeks had passed Mrs. Blank began to miss articles of wearing apparel and small personal trinkets. This continued until Mrs. Blank felt justified in making an in- vestigation of Phenie’s room, where she found a number of the missing articles, and the sad necessity of “dealing” with Phenie was forced upon her mistress. Descending to the kitchen, she said: “Phenie, you know that you have heard me‘say that a number of my things had come up missing of late “Yes-um,” said Phenie placidly. “And you heard me say that it might be that the laundre by the day took them?” “So she might, missus.” “She did not, Phenie. I have just found six of the missing handker- chiefs in your room.” “You don’t say!” who comes “I do say it, Phenie. And I found my gold bracelet and a pair of my combs in your room.” “Is dat so? Well, well!” “And my lace fan was in your trunk.” “Huh! Yu shuah it was?” “I guess I know my own fan when it has my monogram on the handle. Come, now, Phenie, you may as well confess that you took the things. An you a member of the church, too! And you went to communion yesterday, didn’t you?” “Ob co'se I did!” “Why, Phenie, how could you go to communion when you knew that you had taken those things of mine?” “Laws, missus! yo’ sho'ly didn’t reckon I was goin’ to let an old lace fan an’ a few hankerchers an’ a’ ole gold bracelet keep me away fom de Lawd's table? "Deed I isn’t dat weak a Christian—no, ma‘am! Hit'll tek more’n a few little ole trinkets like dat ter keep dis chile erway f'om de Lawd's table!"—Lippincott’s Magazine, RS, WISE: I had to dismiss my new housemaid after keeping her only two days. Mrs. Ornerwise: Why, what was the matte! “IT came home unexpectedly yesterday afternoon, and found her scrubbing the kitchen floor with Tom’s military hair brushes !”—Detri Free Press. HE: Did you ever take your automobile apart to see how it worked? He: Well, not exactly. I have taken it apart to see how it didn’t work.—Yonkers Statesman. Y the schools of a Connecticut town measures were recently taken to ght. As the doctor finished each school he gave the principal a list of the pupils whose eyes needed attention, and re- queste] him to notify the children’s parents to that effect. One night, soon after the opening of the fall term, a little boy came home and gave his father the following note duly signed by the principal: “Mr. —: Dear Sir—It becomes my duty to inform you that your son shows decided indications of astigmatism, and his case is one that should be attended to without delay. The next day the father sent the following answer: “Dear Sir: Whip it out of him. Yours truly, —_— —Baltimore Herald. We don't know what our better-half thinks of it, Our opinion 15 \that only when a man marries a sealskin woman on a coonskin income does he find marriage a failure—Hardeman Free Press. Ww have been asked if marriage is a failure. We have not found it so ESS: Miss Skinnay says she just hates to go to the opera. Jess: What she means is that she can’t “bare” to go to the opera— ! Philadelplna Press. comicbooks.com