Life — December 1, 1904 — page 44: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GENUINE SWISS MILK CHOCOLATE is a product of the Gruyere Valley in Switzerland, that is bringing America to a fuller realization of the value of good milk chocolate, both as a food and as a confection. Chocolate is second to no edible substance in point of nutritive properties, and CaiLter’s CHocoLaTe only wants comparison with the ordinary kinds to demonstrate its un- rivaled superiority as a delicacy that is pure, rich and palatable. It enjoys a growing use as an agreeable substitute for a hasty lunch, and never fails to win children from the unwhole- some ordinary forms of confectionery. Send us your address and we'll mail you FREE ON REQUEST a sample big enough to convince you that Cailler’s is really the feast we say it is. We'll also send a sample of the drink- ing chocolate which is equally rich in cream and is superior to any cocoa or chocolate you have ever tried. J. H. FREYMANN, 861 Broadway, NEW YORK General Agent for the United States “Name on Every Piece" JOwNEY’s CHOCOLATE BONBONS Dainty—Delicious—Healthful The ABSOLUTE PURITY and DELIGHTFUL QUALITY of the world-famous Lowney products has resulted in the Largest Sales of Any Confections Made. THE WALTER M. LOWNEY CO., Boston, Mass, Afraid of the Wet. HE crew of a certain life-saving station on the New England coast has many times proved itself brave and efficient in time of need, but of late its skill and bravery have been useless, like so much treasure locked in a vault. There has been no wreck. The sea bas been kind as a big dog Inaction had inevitably bred soft habits of life, and the idle crew had given the summer visitors much to joke about. Their satirical comments were rather ungrateful, for the practice drills of the crew were a part of the entertainment of the seaside resort. Twice a week the crew pulled out the brass cannon, shot a rope over a dummy mast which is set up on a point of Jand, and then practised sliding down in the breeches buoy. The small boys of the place were glad to play the part of rescued mariners, and altogether this serious drill, required by law, was a pretty holiday sport. One rainy day, at the appointed time, the crew failed to appear at prac- tice. The summer boarders on the hotel veranda waited in vain for the exhibition which should vary the monotony of a dull day. Finally, one of them went over to the quarters of the crew to learn the reason. “T say, aren't you going to practise to-day?” No, sir.” “Why not?” “Then the brave life- ver, hero of many rough seas, made an explana- | tory gesture toward the weather and said: | “What, in this rain?”—Youth's Companion, | | He Took It Back. N a certain town of western Massachusetts two of the most prominent citizens are a Methodist brother and a Presbyterian brother. These are neighbors, and, for the most part, dwell on good terms, except when they try to effect an exchange of horses or to talk religion. On one occasion the two had traded horses, and although the outcome rankled in the breast of the Methodist, they had met and started a discus- sion on the subject of predestination. As usual, an altercation ensy when the Methodist lost control of himself. With mixed emotions conce’ ing horse trades and John Calvin in his mind, he suddenly exclaimed: “You're a robber, a liar, and a Presbyterian!” This proved too much for the Presbyterian, and a fight began, in which the Presbyterian got the best of it. As he sat upon his prostrate opponent, bumping his head against the ground, he said: fake it back, take it back, or I'll bump your foolish head off!” “TM take it back,” gasped the vanquished Methodist, “on the first two counts; you're not a robber nor a liar, but you’re.a blamed old Presbyterian if I die for it!"—Harper’s Weekly. Broke It Gently. 'OLLOWING is an instance of New England phlegm: A raw-boned youth came in from the barn, took his customary seat at the kitchen breakfast-table, and commenced eating voraciously, without once looking up or around at the mother and sisters who poured his coffee and patiently turned “flapjacks” on the griddle. At length, having literally shovelled seven or eight of the huge cakes into himself, he drawled : “Gre't doin’s down to the barn this mornin’, Dad's done hung hisseli.” —Lippincott's Magazine. Mixed Types. SOME years ago the editor of a down-East newspaper undertook to com pliment an eminent citizen as “a noble old burgher, proudly loving his native State;” but the neatly-turned compliment came from the com: positor’s hands, “a nobby old burglar, prowling round in a nak This was as perverse and shocking as the blunder in the messai Renan had occasion to telegraph across the English Channel on the subject of a proposed lecture by him in Westminster Abbey. The subject, 35 written by him, was “The Influence of Rome on the Formation of Chris: It was announced in England as “The Influence of Rum on the Saturday Evening Post. tianity.” Digestion of Humanity ! My, but Mr. Flaxyman is stingy. . I should say so. Why,’he wouldn't laugh at a joke unless it i was at somebody else’s expense. —Exchange. comicbooks.com