Life, 1904-12-01 · page 34 of 64
Life — December 1, 1904 — page 34: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This *Life* magazine page contains three distinct humorous pieces: **"A Question of Health"**: Two men compare their health regimens—one rigid (cold baths, light meals, exercise, no drinking/smoking) versus one indulgent (sleeping late, hearty breakfasts, no exercise, heavy dinners, cigars, alcohol). The joke's punchline satirizes the absurdity that both remain equally healthy *because* each does what suits him individually. This mocks contemporary health fads and contradictory medical advice. **Two cartoon vignettes**: Rural/working-class scenes with dialect humor. One shows a mule refusing work; another depicts someone avoiding disturbing a napping woman to try "moral persuasion" instead. These employ stereotypical African American vernacular for comedic effect. **"A Compromise" and "At the Literary Tea"**: Brief dialogue sketches—one about two people both wanting furniture, resolved by sharing; another mocking pretentious literary circles, where a man uses affected speech ("pwofuncity") to flatter a poet without committing to actual critique. The page reflects early 20th-century American satire targeting health crazes, social conventions, and literary pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ofA 546 ( “Aperto Vivere Voto.” ODS! give me these : A friend to love A mistress to be worthy of ; Three or four books of stalwart verse, Austere and terse ; Sufficient food to mend my body ; A pipe, a fuming glass of toddy ! Gods! give me these, aed 1 will write An “Ode to Duty" every night. Lee Wilson Dodd, A Question of Health. TO healthy men tatked. “LT attribute my condition,” said the first healthy man, “entirely to my manner of life. ix every morning, take a cold bath— “A cold bath!’ exclaimed the second healthy man. ‘Ugh! It makes me shudder." “Yes, sir," repeated the first healthy man. “A cold bath—just as the water runs, mind you—and then a light breakfast of milk and toast. After breakfast I walk five miles in very light clothes; in fact, I never wear an overcoat all winter. For dinner I eat a chop, and after dinner another walk of five miles. In the even- ing I have a plain sup- per and am in bed by ten. I don’t drink and don’t smoke."* “Well id the sec- ond healthy man, “that wouldn’t suit me at all I lie abed as long as I can in the morning. Then I get up, dress in a warm room, so as to be thoroughly comfortable, eat a hearty breakfast of buckwheat cak hballs and coffee. to business—for I never walk or take any exercise if I can help it. At noon I eat a big luncheon, and at night I get outside of a -course dinner, I smoke ten cigars a day and drink what I please.” The first healthy man looked at him in amazement. “How, then,” he imed, “do you account for the fact that we are both so blamed healthy?” “Tt must be,’ said the second healthy man, as he lighted another cigar, I rise at XMAS GREENS, Ke Tap, er SB 5 TINO IN ES “ BEATIN’ DON’ MAKE DAT MULE WORK. “‘DON’ LET ME INTERRUPT YO" NAP, SERAPHINA. 1 GOTTER TRY MORAL PERSUASION.” ‘because each of us docs what he pleases, in spite of the other. Addison Fox, Jr. A Compromise. IRANDA: No, Fred, I won't take the armchair; you take it. Frep: Er—suppose we both take it. At the Literary Tea. ISS SAPPHO: And you haven't said a word about my poem in “The Upper Ten"? Mr. Cuotty: Aw, beg you’ pawdon—gweat, you know— weally, Miss Sappho, I didn’t think you could wise te such a—aw!—depth of pwofuncity. comicbooks.com DIS ONLY A OLE PHONOGRAFT I BEEN A+READIN’ INTO FROM DIS FOOL CAMPAIGN BOOK, JES’ TO AMUSE MYSE'F.””