Life — November 17, 1904 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIAWATHA ON STOCK COMPANIES. very time,” said Hiawatha, “That I go inside a show shop Where a stock troupe does the acting Iam forcibly reminded Of a company of Injuns Who, one winter, got together In the land of the Dacotahs. We were not much on the drama In the land of the Dacotahs; We were hummers on the warpath, But in literature, music, Art, the drama, and such matters, We were nothing more than rummies, along, winter morning, 1 the country of the Blackfeet, An illustrious old con man Known as Shoot-the-Torrid-Ozone. Very polished was this person, Very siren-like And he told us yap Dacotahs That we were a clever people. neyed here,’ he told us, ndern drama. I shall organize a layout That will beat the greatest Thespians In the syndicate, my people. Then old Shoot-the-Torrid-Ozone Started in to drill the natives, He secured a leading lady Known as Daughter-of-the-Muskrat, Very handsome, very willowy, With a Prospect.avenue wardrobe And a wealth of auburn tresses. Then he found a man for ‘heavies? Whom he called old Bass-Profundo. Very tough was Bass-Profundo, Very villainous and ugly. He had scalped so many people That his home was full of tresses. He had punctured with his arrows Probably three hundred Injuns. is song was, Then old Shoot-the-Torrid-Ozone Got a leading man from somewhere In the country of the Blackfeet. Green-Leaf-on-the-Tree his name was, Green-Leaf-on-the-Tree we called him, A HAPPY HOBBY, Very tall was he, and comely, Heavy with the matinée girls; Every squaw of the Dacotahs Went to hear this handsome Injun Making love in dulcet whispers To young Daughter-of-the-Muskrat. Every squaw of the Dacotahs Used to say in longing accents, ‘Isn't he just simply lovely?! “Then old Shoot-the-Torrid-Ozone Packed the house at each performance Till the braves all got together And they held a consultation Led by valiant Husky-Bison, Who harangued them all as follows: ‘Hearken to me, O my people; Shall we blow in all our wampum Buying tickets for our honeys ‘To enable them to listen To this fascinating Injun— Green-Leaf-on-the-Tree they call him— ring off these love scenes oot-the-Torrid-Ozone? Shall this leading man, this winner, how us up and make us like it? Not if T can queer the business! All that my young squaw can think of Is this leading man, my comrades. He is all she ever talks of— Green-Leaf-on-the-Tree for breakfast, Green-Leaf-on-the-Tree for dinner, Green-Leaf-on-the-Tree for supper! Let us notify the owner Of this actor-aggregation ‘That we shall no more support him!” “This, my dearies, is the story Of the rise and fall of acting In the land of the Dacotahs. This is a correct description Of the first and only stock show Ever managed by an Injun —Milwautee Sentinel. THE MIONIGHT PROMENADE. Henry! Huh? “Just imagine baby is one of those sick friends you sit up all night with."—Harper’s Be: Fatuer (who hos been called upon in the city asked for his daughter's hand): Louise, do you kev what a solemn thing it is to be married? Lourse: Oh, yes, pa; but it is a good deal sore solemn being single—Judy. Live is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, When You Want A Good Drink —one that will satisfy you fromthe ground up—just step into the near- est club, hotel, café or restaurant and order a bottle of Evans’ Ale —or better still, order a supply |from your dealer and enjoy solid comfort at home. C., England, Acrxts. Established 1860 WILSON WHISKEY That's All! ESTERBROOKS Steel Pens Sold Everywhere The Best Pens Male CM. RASS & SONS, New York to Chicago— "22 Hours of tux. __By New York Central comicbooks.com