Life — November 3, 1904 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Last Days in the Country. “ OW much a quart—your milk?” “Fourpence.” “They told me it was only threepence.” «We're out.of thruppeny milk, but we can make you some."”—Sporting Times. HILE on the trip through the Mam- moth Cave after the Convention last June, the party was in charge of a loquacious guide. Coming at length to a lofty hall, the guide told them that recently a young couple had been married there. “Why here?” inquired Territorial Deputy Connelly of Montana. “Oh,” said the guide, “her mother had made her promise never to marry any man on earth, |so they came under the surface.” “That's bad,” remarked Brother Connelly, Then turning to Brother Callahan of Louisville, he said, “Callahan, your Legislature ought to prohibit such things by law.” “Why ?’’ answered Brother Callahan, “Running marriage into the ground,” re | marked Chris—Columbiad. NOBLE HAYES of the Law’s Delays * Commission at a recent meeting on this subject told the following story as illustrative of the condition existing in some of the courts to-day. Charles James Fox, the famous English ad- vocate of a generation ago, and his secretary, Mr. Hare, who lived with him, were both noted for their impecuniosity, and their creditors spent much time in dunning them. One mom- ing before daylight there was a violent ring ing at their door, and Mr. Fox, going to the window, found a group of creditors below. “Are you fox hunting or hare hunting this morning, gentlemen?” he asked. CONCERNING THE « QUARTER ({) GRAND” “Come now, Mr. Fox,” one of them called up, “tell us when you are going to pay that bill. @its Tone Quality is superior to that of an Upright. (It occupies Just set a date, and we will leave you ia practically no more space than an Upright. @It costs no more than peace.” the large Upright. (It weighs less than the larger Uprights. QIt isa “All right,” was the reply. “How will the more artistic piece of furniture than an Upright. Q It has all the desir- Day of Judgment suit you?” able qualities of the larger Grand Pianos. @It can be moved through “Not at all,” said the creditor; “we'll all be stairways and spaces smaller than will admit even the small Uprights. too busy on that day.” CATALOGUE UPON REQUEST CHICKERING & SONS “Well,” said Mr. Fox, “rather than put you to any inconvenience we'll make it the dy after."—New York Times. O NE of the clearest cases of absentminded- ness on record was that of a leading Established 1823 796 Tremont St., Boston i Hl grocer of this city recently. Over the tele Patronize American industries. | Is Your Time phone came an order from a wealthy customer Wear a for some oranges to be delivered during the Worth afternoon, . KN ox “What are the prices?” asked the customer, Z, “Oh, we havethem at all prices, from tw’ ty Saving? cents a dozen up" : “Well, I'm not particular about the price HAT | Then put a TELEPHONE What I want is the quality and size.” | “Wait a moment, please.” ; | in your RESIDENCE. He went to the box containing his choicest the creation par excellence of the fruit, selected a large, yellow sample and has- nation. | tened back to the ‘phone. Holding the orange ane Now York Telephone Go. | | aloft in one hand while he grasped the tele Agencies in all the principal cities in the world, 15 Dey Street. phone receiver with the other, he said: Will this kind do?"—Duluth News-Tribune. comicbooks.com