Life — November 3, 1904 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUST A BOY'S 00G. No, siree, that dog won't bite; Not a bit o° danger! What's his breed? Shore T don't know; Jest a “boy's dog,” stranger. No St. Bernard—yet last year, Time the snow was Dragged a little shaver home Where the hill was steepest. eepest, dog, but you bet do to scoff him. amp one time— Couldn't pry him off him, A wett-xnowx Chicago clergyman, who is a widower and the father of two charming grown daughters, is also éomething of a wag. During his vacation this summer he sent the following telegram to his daughter: “Have just married a widow with six children. Will be home to-morrow.” The next day he arrived alone, daughters in tears “Wowhere is the w-widow?” they sobbed in uni- son. “Oh,” he replied, a merry twinkle in his eye, “I married her to another man."—Chicogo Daily News. and found his TEA, {Dr. Charles Liebrand says that five o'ciock tes will before long become the most hygienic meal of the day.] 1 used to think that drinking tea Was very, very bad for me; It gave me “pains,” and things like that; It made me jumpy as a cat; Tea every day, the doctors cried, Was practically suicide. But Dr. Liebrand comes along To prove all other doctors wrong. A man, he says, by daily teas, Becomes a sort of Hercules. If such a meal he don’t omit, In time he rivals Hackensmidt. So bring the urn, produce the cup, And fill the sugar-basin up. In future we must spend each day In thoroughly Johnsonian way, | . Now that we know there's no superior Not a ter—jest the same, Emollient for the interior. When it is all over, Ain't a better critter round Startin’ up the plover. —London Globe, WITH CHARITY FOR ALL. Miss Lola La Follette, the daughter of the Gore ernor of Wisconsin, goes on the stage this fall. A Madison woman said of her the other day: “Miss La Follette has a ready and rather caustic wit. “Ata meeting that we held here for a charitable purpose Miss La Follette was one of those who passed through the audience with plates for contributions. The cotonel had had a very lucky day, the fish “A rich miser sat in a rear seat alone, and when nad been biting well he had several large ones Miss La Follette extended her plate to him, he ssid, stored safely away in the boat, He had just taken in _ ly: his line, was pouring out his usual drink of “I have nothing—nothing.’ “rye” before pulling in the anchor. It had been th “The young girl knew the man was wealthy, and, “ custom of the colonel to drink alone, but something with a little smile, she said: today prompted him to offer his guide, Bert, a drink. “Take something, then. This collection, yoa Bert did not hesitate in his acceptance, and carefully know, is for the poor.’ "— Baltimore Herald. watched the colonel pour out scarcely enough to cover the bottom of the glass, The guide was dis- appointed, but took the glass. “One minute before you drink that," said the colonel. “Do you know how old that whiskey is? Bert did not. “That's twenty-one “Well,” said Bert, d—n small for its ag Sell him? Not Jest a” Say, there ain't his price, all the Nation! boy's dog”; that’s his breed— Finest in creation, —McLandburgh Wilson, in New York Sun. HIS OPINION. and “A MERE SLIP OF A GIRL." “I'ma afraid, Johnny,” said the Sunday-schoot teacher, rather sadly, “that I shall never meet you in the better land. Why? Pick-Me-Up. Wuex the Japanese begin their next advance movement, Kuropatkin's best chance to escape will be to shinny up the North Pole and pull the pole up after him.—Son Francisco Bulletin, “Very well, sir,” said Dr. Quack, after his quar rel with the undertaker, “I'll make you sorry for What have you been doin’ now?"— What are you going to do?” asked the under taker; “retire from practice?"—Philadelphia Press. It seems the only really safe place for the poor, persecuted automobilists is in the British diploma service—The Atlanta Journal, cars old!” poking at it again, “it's pretty RG. Live is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International 3 Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENTS. O other brewing is bought by a . more discrimi- nating class of people —no other brewing so completely meets the exacting require- ments of those who prefer quality to quantity, as does Evans’ Ale Sold by Dealers Everywhere Established 1860 WILSON | WHISKEY That’s All! ESTERBROOKS Steel Pens Sold Everywhere The Best Pens Made comicbooks.com