Life — October 13, 1904 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LVFE* Are Three American Women Out of Five Disappointed in Their Husbands ? FOR the best answer to this question, contained in five hundred words or less, LIFE will give fifty dollars. Correspondents may treat the subject in any way they prefer, humor- ously or seriously All communications to be addressed to the Editor of Lirr. No. 4. ISAPPOINTED ? There lives withia the very flame of love A kind of wick or snuff that will abate it. Yes. Because At one pole we have the grass widow, who, asked if love cools after marriage, replied : “ Does it Why, it {reezes solid.” At the other pole we have George Eliot, who wrote—tSome woman, obliged to con- sider the price of eggs in arranging her dinner, was listening for the music of a footstep that would remove alll risk from her foretaste of joy ; some couple, bending cheek by cheek over a bit of work done by the one and de- lighted in by the other, were reckoning the earnings that would make them rich enough for a holiday among the furze and heather.” Between these extremes lie all of married woe or married bliss. It is for each bride to choose whether she will join the three-fifths down in the sloughs of despond, or dwell with the two-fifths far up the sunny heights. Any woman in love with any man finds him, after marriage, not the man whofwon her, but an entirely different being. Then comes a period of readjustment—of real fall- ing in love for the lucky elect, of real falling out for those preordained to disappointment, Married love is a rare, sensitive plant—a plant needing not only stores of rich earth heaped about its roots, but measured largess of water and careful dole of sun and shade at the top, to the end that blossoms may lift piring heads towards the stars, Happy the married lovers who prune and cultivate; gently repressing the rank growth of a weedy branch here, patiently nurturing a tender budding excellence there, until the result seems to belong not to earth, but to paradise, In every happy marriage there should be similarity of principtes or tastes in big things, with difference of tastes in small things. The former insures mutual respect, the latter, mutual interest, And over the union must brood Charity broad enough to forgive the very worst, and Hope that confidently looks for the very best. These be good ingredients, and if you spice them with humor, stir in all the poetry the mixture will take, and break in an enforced separation for a month or two now and then—for “sweets grown common lose their dear delight,” and ** what we have we prize ‘not to its worth until ‘tis lost"—then indeed we have all the elements of an earthly paradis Remember, love is the union of a want and a sentiment—cultivate the sentiment. Here follow some * don'ts" for the bride : Don't be too serious. Don't think you've married an angel, for angels do not marry. Don't cut out the babies, Most men are vain enough to want little prints of themselves, so don't forget the stork when you send out your “at home” bids. No. 5. ) THE EDITOR OF LIFE: Surely it is a man who asks this question | If it was a woman, she would not ask why are three out of five disappointed ; she would ask why are five ? T hear you say there is only one thing worse than marrying a man—that is marrying a woman, I have not married one, so I do not know, Being a woman, custom obliged me to marry a man—at least I thought it was a man, It has proven a disappointment. These are the reasons “why "—and it’s the same “why” with most women, When a man is courti a woman, she takes him literally. She ought to take him figuratively. He said there was nothing he wouldn't do for me. He comes pretty near to doing nothing ! He said I should have everything I wanted. Now he growls because I want everything ! I thought there was no other man like him. I think so now—in a different way. I thought that when I married him, life would be one long dream. I failed to allow for an occasional nightmare ! I thought he was the most promising man in the world. He is—but he doesn’t perform ! He said my life should be one of roses, And I forgot every rose has its thorn ! Also I forgot that the only way to really find a man out is to live with him. I've found him out—I find him out most all the time—es- pecially nights, On the other hand, during courtship he thought I ought to go out. Now he thinks I ought to always stay in. I've discovered that a man promises too much when he's courting. If a woman would stop to think, she'd know he couldn't do half he promises, if he lived a thousand years. When a woman asks him to redeem, she finds she’s lost the pawn ticket—and there are no duplicates ! Before marriage he thought me * dear.” Now he says I'm dearer—but in the wrong sense! And a man thinks so much of a woman when he's courting that he makes up for lost time by not thinking of her at all afterwards ! And a woman cannot understacd why a man who loves her enough to marry her does not marry her just to love her—the same way. Also, a man isa spendthrift during court- ship and expects his wife to refund the expenditure in some way afterwards ! Also, again, all men are firmly convinced, when they are single, that two can live as cheaply as one; and they insist upon their wives proving it! Also, once more, during courtship, it's “+ pleasure before business”; after marriage, it changes to *' business before pleasure!” Lastly, when a woman finds a man is only aman, she feels as if she had bought a gold brick | I could give you a thousand more reasons. Any woman can. We are loaded full with reasons—such as they are. P.S.—Why Are Three American Women Out of Five Disappointed in Their Husbands ? For the same reason fish are not cows—they are not. No. 6. RE three American women out of five disappointed in their husbands? Are three travelers out of five disappointed in Venice? This depends upon how much is expected of Venice. The average traveler has all his life thought of Venice as only books can picture it, While journeying thence these pictured glories are constantly before him. Three out of five, on reaching Venice, exclaim : “Is this Venice?” Three out of five women are disappointed after marriage, but three out of five are not disappointed in their husbands. Love before marriage is a state of mind, and after marriage a fact—the one surrounded by idealism, the other by realism. The disap- pointment consists in the relative proportion between what is received and what is expected. The woman reared on novels and caramels has expectations quite incompatible with the opportunities of the average man, battling comicbooks.com