Life — October 13, 1904 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘rl OR “1 bought my wife the finest kind of an arrange: ment for 1 “What is “A sort of trap to wear over her mouth, called a dust protector. “Does it work?” “I don't know about the dust part of it, but it keeps her from talking.”"—Detroit Free Press. Tux Punkville Debi and Mr. G. W earnest plea on the “Resolved, That m: selfish motive.” “I go further than that,” Mr. President,” he said “About three-fourths of the th cause he's envious of what somebody else docs. The pin-headed cr that had the floor last on the other side lied like a pirate when he said"’—— Here the president of the society rapped on the desk. “The he said. Why not?” “Because it isn't parliamentary.” “It may not bee parli Mr. iferated Mr, G. Watkins Spurling collar and rolling up his sleeves, “but, by gum, it's "—Cincin: ing Society was in regular urling was making an firmative side of the question, act is the result of a 's every ngs a man does is be: tleman must not use such language as President,” loosening his congressional i Commercial- Tribune Epmoxp Rostaxo was the other day the hero of a little episode which might furnish him with the 1 for a scene in a future play, During a visit to a friend in the country, M. Rostand was requested to accompany him to the mairie, in order to register the friend's + infant, The adjunct of the mairie, a conscientious little man, booked the infant, and then turned to M, Rostand as the first witness. Your name, sir?’ “Edmond Rostand.” “Your vocation?” “Man of letters and Academy.” Very well,” replied the official; “you have to sign your name, Can you write? If not, you may make a cross.”"—. York Tribune. mater w-born member of the French A Green reporter on the New York American is the hero of the latest newspaper story. His first d tail was to get an interview from an English scientist who tad just arrived, As it was midnight then, he was told to hurry, and, above all, to get a good inter- Av NvLLy view. In about an hour he returned and announced that his mission had been fruitless. “What was the matter?” asked the city editor. “Well,” was the reply, “he said he had told everything to the Herald reporter, and bad nothing more to say." Exchange, “Age you a fatalist? Do you believe what is to be will be “Well, yes: to a certain extent. I believe, for instance, when T draw my salary that the coal trust and the meat trust and the grocer and the milkman, and the rest of the people who make it their business to get my money away from me, are going to do it just as surely as the sun is sure to rise to-morrow morning." —Chicago Record-Herald. Mr, Bugg: Gee, Ve EEN ON THIS DILL OF PARR THREE TIMES NOW AND 1 CAN'T FIND A crust, Eutas Becxter, a farmer living near Delphos, has a remarkably luxuriant growth of whiskers. Recently while working in the fields a swarm of bees came along and settled in this growth. Mr. Buckler sat down and remained quiet. When all the bees had settled in his beard he slowly arose, walked home, and with the assistance of others hived th buzzers.—Delphos Correspondence Cincinnati quirer. Srexp madness is the newest nerve disease. It is the child of invention and fashion, and likely to prove a dangerous decadent for pathological treatment. Find its regenerator if you can. There is no germ; there: fore inoculation will not permit increase of this speed madness, and nothing can allay the symptoms but complete disaster and breakdown of the means of gratifying the mania, When a victim is physically shattered, speed madness passes. Not until ther Tur Maxacixc Epitor: Yes, we w take a good rest. You need it badly. G where you'will have absolutely no cares and nothing to do. Tue Farruren Atracue: All right your war correspondent in the Far East Plain Dealer. Make me “I wisn I was an angel!" little Joh astonished his mother by exclaiming. holy thoughts were filling his young mind, she waited for the reason. “Then I could fly up higher ¢ fence and see all the ball games."—Cicinr mercial-Tribune, Wondering why Suz: You told me when we were married that you were well off, He: I was, but I didn’t know it—Chicego Daily ows. PUTTING THEM OFF THE SCENT. Bae: George, dear, when we reach our destina: tion let us try to avoid giving the impression that we are newly married. Gorse: All right, portmanteau.—Pick-Me-Up Maud; you can carry this A SIGN OF AUTUMN, We infer that the bathing season is about over, as we are being regaled with claborate details of plans for the better protection of bathers which will be “adopted next year."—Weshington Post, A youxe man who was working for the railrcad company went to one of the directors and asked for a pass to some distant point. “You have been working for us some time?” in- quired the official, “Yes, sir,” the young fellow answered. “Have you ever had any complaint to make?” “No, sir,” answered the employee. “Well, if you were working for a farmer, would you have the nerve to ask him to harness his horses and take you to a certain part of the country?” the director asked, “No, sir. But if he had his horses all ready, and was going to that point, I would call him a very mean farmer if he refused to take me,” was the young fellow’s reply.—Philadelphia Public Ledger. Lire is for sale by all New Company, Bream's Building, dealers in Great Britain. The International News ancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGENT: WILSON WHISKEY That’s All! Absolute Purity, Faultless Quality Exquisite Flavor Hunter Whiskey cafes and by jobbers '& SON, Baltimore, Md. 2.45 P. M. Leave New York; 9.45 Next Morning Reach Chicago——NEW YORK CENTRAL comicbooks.com