Life, 1904-10-06 · page 13 of 38
Life — October 6, 1904 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page presents a **humorous advice column contest** rather than a political cartoon. *Life* magazine solicited reader responses to a provocative question about marital satisfaction, offering fifty dollars for the best answer. The illustration shows a woman at a desk—likely representing the editor or a correspondent—introducing the contest. The responses shown employ satirical logic and self-aware humor typical of early 20th-century American wit. Writers reference contemporary figures (William Jennings Bryan, Carrie Nation) and popular literature to argue whether wives' disappointment stems from husbands' failures or women's unrealistic expectations. The satire targets **gender roles and courtship illusions**: men attract wives through false pretenses; women mistake marriage for romance rather than a business partnership; evolution explains why youthful charm fades. One response suggests widows make better wives because they've apprenticed in "marriage labor." The tone is lighthearted social commentary on matrimonial mismatch—mocking both sexes' expectations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LEPE- 325 Are Three American Women Out of Five Disappointed in Their Husbands ? For the best answer to this guestion, contained in five hundred words or less, LIFE will give fifty dollars. Correspondents may treat the subject in any way they prefer, humor- ously or seriously. All communications to be addressed to the Editor of Lire, No. 1. DON'T know to which three you refer, but I think they are. Three and one-half husbands out of every five are disappointed in themselves, so their wives cannot always be blamed for being so. (Men disappointed in them- selves are a disappointment to others. ) (Ref.: ‘Life of Wm. J. Bryan.” Vol. IL., 1896 and 1900.) Women have a propensity for being disappointed. In fact, they expect to be, If ¢herr husbands didn’t disappoint them, some one’s else would. (If a woman isn't disappointed in something sooner or later, she is disappointed be- cause she isn't.) (Ref.: ‘*The Devil and I,”" by Mary McLane.) A disappointment is an unexpected “turn-down” of a thing hoped for. Husbands are things hoped for, who, before they are husbands, expect turn- downs. Therefore, disappointments are to be expected as much as hus- bands. (See ‘ Lives of the Hunted. I knew a woman once who said that she was always disappointed in her husband, until she found out that her husband wasn't disap- pointed in her. (Most every woman. who is disappointed in her husband is so as an excuse for not admitting that she is disappointed in her own self.) (Ref.: Your Own Diary.) Some wives don't mind being disap- Pointed in their husbands, Depends whether or not the husband mindsit. (See ‘* Lifeand Deeds of Carrie Nation."” Any page.) If some wives were disappointed in their husbands before they were married, they wouldn't marry. (However, every woman would rather be disappointed with a hus- band than without one.) (Ref.: “Lives of Your Neighbors."*) Therefore, three American women are disappointed out of five husbands. Q. E. D. Eddy S. Brandt, No. 2. IX American women out of five are disappointed in their husbands ; the surplus being the unmarried sister- hood, who could but wouldn't, or would but couldn't. Why this universal discord with the male sex? 1. Wives are obtained under false pretenses. If man would invite lovely woman to become his beloved Chameleon, instantaneously assuming his colors as he changes to the forty thousand known tints, lovely woman might hesitate on the threshold of so large a contract and later disappointment be avoided. 2. Woman enters matrimony labor- ing under the delusion that it is a romance, While in reality it is a busi- ness enterprise, in which she is the working partner and man is the Co. 3. This is the only business partner- ship obtainable without previous edu- cation or apprenticeship. Widows make moresuccessful Chame- leons than maidens, having served a previous apprenticeship and entering subsequent firms as illed labor.’’ 4. Evolution is responsible for this wholesale disappointment. Blue eyes, ‘with but a single thought,” golden locks and a clinging nature attract the .ove-lorn youth of twenty. Swagger young women with the foot- ball walk, soulful black eyes and locks. to match the ravens, rest his immortal soul at forty! Why condemn our lords of creation? Do we not all pay the penalty of a cultivated taste? At the age of twelve we may have enjoyed hearing John Brown's body moulder on a jew’s-harp. Shall it be a crime to have developed to symphony music at forty? Fifth should offer a specific for the world’s matrimonial misery. Education is the cure! Our Carnegies and Rockefellers should endow matrimonial training schools, exclusively for the female sex. To be a husband requires no training, husbands being ‘‘ fixed laws.” All maidens should be compelled to obtain a diploma from the Matrimonial College, before a marriage license could be obtained. Post graduate courses would be necessary for women willing to do pioneer work with artists, musicians, physicians, athletes, minis- ters and other eccentrics. In addition to these measures for the amelioration of the white peril, there should be organized a Wives’ Union. Maiden ladies and widows would be valuable as an advisory board. Husbands not obeying the rules of the Union should be waited upon by its president, and flagrant cases handled, as in other labor unions, by sympathetic strikes. Throughout this Land of the Free and Home of the Brave husbands would return to abandoned kitchens, deserted firesides and cradles. Submerged womanhood would rise from the depths, and Matrimony be- come as popular as the other lucrative professions. Lansing. No. 3. DP LIFE: You are charitably mild in putting your question. Better have said, ‘ Are four out of five American girls disappointed in their comicbooks.com