Life, 1904-09-01 · page 24 of 38
Life — September 1, 1904 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a short fiction piece satirizing wealthy, idle gentlemen. Two bored club members—Castleton and Caterby—make a wager: each will select a street boy and take him to a restaurant to see whose can eat more food. The "winner" gets ten dollars. The satire targets the casual cruelty and condescension of the wealthy toward the poor. These men treat a hungry newsboy as an object for entertainment and gambling, exploiting his desperation for food. The boy, starving and amazed by the opportunity, obeys without question, consuming enormous quantities. The piece mocks how the privileged amuse themselves at the expense of the vulnerable, turning hunger—a serious hardship—into sport. The newsboy becomes a commodity in their bet, reduced to his capacity to consume. The story suggests the moral emptiness of the bored rich and their indifference to poverty.
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Boy Wanted. IVE o'clock on a dull day in the city. The stock market was closed. The race track was un- inviting. All the best people were away. Castle- ton and Caterby sat idly lounging in their club, There was absolutely nothing doing. Both were intensely bored. They were in that idle, almost irritat- ing mood, where the slightest incident, no matter how trivial it. might be, would have been interesting, could it be turned to account. The talk slowly drifted from one thing to another. “Well,” “I suppose we'll have to eat again soon. There's nothing better to do. Let's order dinner now, so that we won't have to wait.” “*I feel just now,” replied Caterby, “as if I never could eat another thing. Guess I'll go up into the woods and scare up an appetite.” “That wouldn't be a bad idea,” said Castleton. “I often wish I had my boyhood appetite back again." “SodolI. Great Scott, when I was a kid, how I could eat! I don’t be- lieve there is anything in the world-to beat the appetite of a country boy.” “Well,” said Castleton, contem- platively, ‘I'll wager that some of these city youngsters can do as well.” Caterby puffed in silence, ‘That's so,” he said at last. “ By Jove, do you know, it would be fun just to see how much oneof t’ :m could hold, wouldn't it?" Castleton straightened up. “Wouldn't it?" he said. “Say, old man, I'll tell you what I'll do. Each one of us select 4 boy, and see how much he'll hold, ‘I'll bet you ten dollars my boy can hold more than yours,"* Caterby’s face brightened. Any- thing to break the monotony. “Done,” he said. ‘How will we arrange it?’’ “Well, each pick out a boy, take him into a restaurant and let him pick out what he wants. The one whose boy eats the most will win.” said Castleton, with a yawn,’ bEE + “ But we'll have to take one boy ata time.” “Why?” “Simply because, if they order to- gether, they'll both probably take the same things. We want it to be a natural test."” “All right. first choice.’’ Castleton won the toss, At this moment he looked out of the window. A newsboy was passing on the opposite side. He was thin and gaunt and hungry-looking—just the type. ‘*There's my boy,” said Castleton, “just as if Providence had placed him there.”” He opened the window, whistled, and then the two men went out on the front steps. The boy flew across the street. “* Paper, sir?”’ “Young man,” said Castleton, “ would you like a good, square meal— just as much as you can crowd in?" The boy opened his eyes wide, It was a sudden blow. “Is dis a guy ?”” “*No—honest."" “No kiddin’ ?’" ‘On the square."” “Sure I would.” ‘Then come with us."" Castleton led the way over on the next avenue, where there was a good middle-class restaurant. The two men and the boy entered and took a table. A waiter came up. “*Give this young man,” said Cas- tleton, ‘‘just what he wants—all he can eat, and I'll pay for it. Here, kid, can you read ?'" The boy nodded. “Then order from this bill of fare. Now, don't be afraid. Order anything you want—order the whole thing if you wish,’"” The boy gasped. But his not to reason why—his but to eat, and die in the cause if need be. He ordered oysters, soup, fish, roast beef, potatoes, coffee. With amazing rapidity it all disappeared, while his two patrons jotted it down in anote-book. At last he was through. “Have you finished?" said Castle- ton. “Yes, sir.” I'll toss you for the Castleton paid the bill. They rose. “*And now,” said Caterby, ‘for my boy.” He smiled, “I've got you beat," he said. “Why didn’t you urge him on? I can pick out a boy that will cat more than that." “But you must remember," said Castleton, ‘‘that the conditions are that you shall not tell your boy. What we want is a natural test."" “That's all right,” said Caterby. “T understand that. I won't say any- thing to the boy, of course."” He smiled blandly “But there's no reason why,” he continued, ‘‘I shouldn't tell this boy of yours He has finished. All I've got to do is to ask him if he knows of a boy who can eat more than he has eaten, and I'll be willing to bet even ten more that he does know of such a boy. Old man, I win, sure pop.”* He called the boy, who was just making off with his bundle of papers “* Here, kid, come back.” The boy returned. “We may as well tell you,” said Caterby, ‘‘that this is to decide a bet My friend here bet he could pick out a boy who could eat more in one meal than a boy I could pick out. Now, you know a lot of boys. Put me on to one, will you? Get him for me.” “*So dis is to decide a bet?” “Yes.” “And you want a kid dat'll eat more'n I did just now ?”” “Yes—that’s it.” The boy grinned. The situation was just beginning to unfold itself. He didn't know before that there was any money up. “Den take me," he said. Tom Masson, HE SPOILED TWIN (fo his mother): (think you might have given the Noah’s Ark to me instead of to Lydia. “Why, what a selfish little boy! Sister hasn’t nearly the number of birthday presents you have. Aren't you sorry she hasn’t as many as you?" “* Yes—but I like to be sorry !"’