Life — July 14, 1904 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE SKIPPER'S WOOING [The latest society craze is the skipping party, at which persons of all ages ply the ropes with en- thusiasm, for pleasure and for health.] “Will you walk into my parlor?" said the hostess to the guest. “Tis the largest and the barest and the emptiest and best; There are others there before you, and the ropes are flying fast, You can join the skipping army till the hour of mid- night past. “We have done away with dancing, we've abolish bridge and whist, And of all our old amusements there is none that will be missed, When the skipping ropes are flying and the overflow: ing fun Greets the clumsy or twenty-one. unwieldy who have failed at There are matrons staid and portly, who are skipping into youth; ‘There are men with ‘corporations'—I am telling you the truth— Who are growing strong and active, and becoming lithe and slim There's a duke who docs his th who rivals him. uisand, and an earl “Oh, forsake your foolish can bring you little joy, And adopt the new amusement that is never known to cloy; Throw aside all childish pastimes that have held you in their grip, Be a man among your fellows skip.” pleasures that be a man and learn to —London Chronicte. Litre afternoon with a neighbor who had just lost a near relative, and who was working very hard to get some mourning gowns made. Florence had been very good and asked no ques lorence, aged six, had been spending the Live is for sale by a! tions, but when she retyrned home her inquisitive: ness asserted itself. Her mother explained as clearly as she could, and for a few moments Florence sat in deep silence. Then: “Are all her gowns going to be black, mother?” “Yes, dear. “And is she going to wear black night-gowns?” No, dear.” “Well, doesn't she feel just as bad in the night as she does in the day?""—Brooklyn Life. *THE DAY WE CELEBRATE. Kene, book of Memoirs,” aber of Scotch stories. For example, there is the story of the “argumentatively Scot, who, calling on the minister, and being to go home, and return the next day when he replied: “Man, minister, when I'm sober, 1 dinna care a d——n for religious conversation. Then, there is the story about Thomas Thorp, who died, leaving his fortune to a poor relative, on con dition that a headstone with the name of the said ‘Thomas Thorp and a verse of poetry be erected be side the grave. Costing so much a word to chisel let- in a new humorous tipsy” was sobet ‘cwsdealers in Great Britain, The Interna ters in the stone, the poor relative ordered that « poetry should be brief. Upon his refusal to appree| on account of their too great length, the lines— Tere lies the corp Of Thomas Thorp, the following was finally offered and accepted— Thorp's Corpse. —Exchang. Hever S, Stone, the publisher, described at a ¢ in Washington the amusing methods of a newspaper who used to write articles at a set rate a column, He was once commissioned to do a serial story fe Chicago paper. The story, as it proceeded from weet week, was interesting, but it contained many passages the following : “Did you hear him?** “Tdid. “Truly? “Truly.” “ Where?" “ By the wel When?" “Today. “Then he “ He does. “An” The editor, sending for the man, said: “Hereafter we will pay you by the letters is serial, We will pay you so much a thousand letters.” The young man, looking crestfallen, went away, te the very next instalment of his story he introduced a ter who stuttered, and all through the chapter were scatm passages like this: “ Beb-b-b-believe me, s-s-s-sir, Iam n-n-not g-g-64 M-m-m-my m-m-m-mother c-c-c-committed this cc<ial ‘ew York Tribe THE WRONG DEPARTMENT. A prominent physician tells this story at the expe the modern craze for specialization in the medical pri sion: A poor woman from the East Side of New York toa near-by dispensary to ask aid for her little son, wbs had one of his fingers smashed by a baseball bat. & first room where she applied she was told by a curt ase ant that the boy could not be treated there. “Wrong place,” he explained ; this is the eye at! department.” “Vere is der thumb und finger department?" the woman, simply.—Harfer's Weekly. nal News Company, Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGexts. WILSON. WHISKEY That’s All! solves direct from the cask. It leads in bottling as well In regard to the benefit of Ale drinking there is no doubt—the | perplexing question has been | how to get it without the objec- | tionable dregs and sediment. | Evans’ Ale the problem. |drop of which pours out as| brilliant and clear as if drawn | brewing — ‘sce patent stopper. Ale Sellers Everywhere Established 1860 Every |] Sold Everywhere The Best Peot Four 24-Hour Trains to Chicago Every Day—NEW YORK CENTR comicbooks.com