Life — July 7, 1904 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OR) THE BOOK BUSINESS. The publishers consulted The author of renown. The offer which resulted (The man was quite insulted) Was fifty thousand down. They came to terms at double. The papers got the news And blew a mighty bubble (Who paid them for their trouble?) Of comments and reviews. With eagerness they printed Fach rumor piping hot. The critics gravely hinted (In colors deftly tinted) Some details of the plot. Now came the readers rushing, All eager for the chance. O'erloud with praises gushing (Strange that no one was blushing!) They ordered in advance. And then the famous writer, With calm and placid look And debts and spirits lighter (Thanks to each ready biter) Sat down to write his book. —The Reader Magazine. Sreaxer Cannon, at one of the unique dinners that he gives in Washington (these dinners are strictly limited to one hour of time), talked about mean rich men. “The meanest rich man in Illinois,” he said, “tives in Vermilion County. He is a bachelor, and we'll call him Crust. “One day the superintendent of the local ceme- “NEVER CATCH ME NEAR THEM TROLLEYS AGAIN.” tery told his lot salesman to call on Crust and see if he couldn't work off a cemetery lot on him. “The salesman set out with a hopeless air, and in a half-hour he was back again. No go,” he said, “Couldn't get him, ch?’ said the superintendent. »’ said the salesman, ‘He admitted that I reasoned well, and that the lots were fine ones, but | he said that if he bought he mightn’t get the value of his money in the end.’ “‘Why,’ said the superintendent, ‘there's no fear of that. The man will die some day, won't he? “*Yes,’ said the salesman, ‘but he says he might be lost at sea.’ "—Collier’s Weekly. Me, Noran had acquired a great reputation for tact, so that when Mr. Cassidy fell from a ladder and broke his leg it was quickly decided by all the workmen that Mr. Nolan should bear the tidings to Mrs. Cassidy. “He broke the news gradual,” said Mr. Leahy to his wife that night, “and by the time she learned the thruth she was as ca'm as a clock, they say. Oh, he's the great man, is Timothy Nolai “How did be do it?” asked Mrs. Leaby, impa- tiently. “Like this," said Mr, Nolan's admirer. “He wint to the house and rang the bell, and he says, ‘Thin Dinnis is not dead, Mrs, Cassidy, or you'd niver. be so gay lookin’."” “ ‘Dead,’ she screeches. “Thin it’ smallpox, either,’ be lookin’ so amazed. Smallpox!’ she cries. ‘Has he got the small- pox, Timmy Nolan, and been tuk to the ‘hospital wid- sayin’ goodby to him? re an’ he has not,’ said Timmy Nolan, in a comfortin’ tone, ‘It's only that he broke a few bones in his leg, fallin’ from a ladder, an’ I'm sint ahead wid the news.’ “It's you that's a thrue friend, an’ you have lifted a big load from me heart,’ said Mrs. Cassidy, and she gave a warrm shake to his hand and wint back to her washin’."—Youth's Companion, “Who said he was dead?” not true he’s near to dyin’ wid the Timmy Nolan, ‘or you'd niver Lire is for sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The International News Company, Bream’s Bu ding, Chancery Lane, London, E. C., England, AGexTs. Taste Tells The palate must be gratified and satisfied, and the fine, rich flavor of Hunter Baltimore Rye Charms the taste and it becomes at once a fixed choice against change. WILSON WHISKEY That’s All! Sold at all firet-clase cafes and by jobbers WAL LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. MILDNESS ano PURIT, comicbooks.com