Life, 1904-06-23 · page 9 of 20
Life — June 23, 1904 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes **magazine editorial advice** to contributors. The left side features a sketch of an attractive young woman, illustrating the essay's central point: to succeed in modern magazines, always include "the picture of a girl." The text mockingly prescribes a formula for magazine success: stories set in France, poems with "historical romance," articles on sports—but crucially, **every piece must feature an attractive woman's portrait**. This is satirizing the visual culture of early 20th-century American magazines, which relied heavily on female imagery to sell copies. The accompanying anecdotes (about custom house officers and Mrs. Whipple) are humorous examples showing how absurdly this rule applies even when irrelevant. The satire targets both magazine publishers' cynical commercial practices and readers' predictable preferences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
615 Get some stories —say a short one, with the action laid in France, And the picture of a girl; And perhaps a tale that tingles with historical romance— And the picture of a gurl, If a serial is needed, see that each installment With With picture labeled “Gladys,” " Jane" or * Rose”; the anecdotes and jingles, little paragraphs and mots, © Helen, Use the picture of a girl, So, 1m short, to make a seller of a modern maga- zine, Get the picture of a girl; Never let an advertisement in your magazine be seen A Girl. you want to make a winner of a modern magazine, Get the picture of a girl; Let it show upon the cover, done in purple, pink and green — Just the picture of a girl Get a poem by somebody, with a limpid sort of rhyme, And a sentiment that borders on the tenderly sublime, But be sure that when you print it there goes with it every time Just the picture of a girl. Get an article that touches on the doings of the courts, With the picture of a girl; ‘And some other stuff on golf and bridge or any other sports, With the picture of a girl, Let another poem follow — possibly a trio- let, Ora sonnet, or a ballad, but be sure with it you get This important decoration ere the type for it is set — Just the picture of a girl, With no picture of a girl. If you're ever overcrowded, cut the verse and stories out, And omit the other matter if you have the slightest doubt, But be sure your every issue, if you know what you're about, Has the picture of a girl. Wilbur D. Nesbit, TOM HOUSE OFFICER: Madam, have you anything duti- able to declare? Mapam: No, my trunk contains. simply wearing apparel. Orricer (after examination of said trunk); What do you call these six bottles of whiskey ? Mapam: Oh, those are night-caps. Prepared. ** DEDAD, the nixt automobobolist who runs over me will be sorry for it, Oi'll bet yez."” “Why?” “Or've a can av nitroglycerin in ivery pocket, : RS. WHIPPLE believes in the modern educational theory, does she?’’ ** Well, she tooka nine months’ baby out to see the St. Louis Exposition."” Tortoise: DON'T YOU THINK, MR. MONK, THEY OUGHT TO KEEP THEIR FLOORS CLEANER? 1 CAN'T WEAR A FULL-DRESS SHIRT FIFTEEN MINUTES WITHOUT GET- TING IT SOILED. comicbooks.com