Life — May 5, 1904 — page 31: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE- The Meanest Railroad Contest. ORDER SOME a ‘Club Cocktails’ ZAR SIR: : SENT HOME TODAY. The meanest trip I ever took, the hardest} You will then have on one on me, was when I traveled on the road | f your own sideboard a they called “The Santa Fe.” give you all better cocktail than can ; . c > be served over any bar in your money's worth and just a little more, and the world, A cocktail is when you get off that old train your back and a blend of different liqe sides are s0xé, uors, and all blends ime prove with age. : © * Club Cocktails” tains and the land; but the only thing that met are made of the best of my view was miles and miles of sand. The liquors ; made by actual cacti and the sage brush, too, I picked as souve- weight and apes sure. nirs, but when I climbed back on the train my 8 about them. cyes were full of tears Ask your husband at We got stuck in the tunnel, the coupling-pins dipper which | TYPE 7 I ER came out, the brakeman and conductor (a man MANHATTAN || <2. a The view, they say, is beautiful, the moun- both big and stout) came running through the “THE WORLD'S BEST.” smoking cars, and yelled this out to me: “You THE SMITH PREMIER TYPEWRITER CO. Executive Offices, 287 Broadway, New York. Factory Syra P a iy wewdenee in Sit ieige eaeess They pulled us out in half an hour, some| i 6. F. Heublein & Bro., dead, some just alive; then swelled all up with 29 Broadway, N.Y. = = righteous pride and said, “We've lost only five! and Hartford, Conn. HANDICAP WHIST “rx erhlas Accidents, you know, will happen to the very | last: Bheerckitag’ Card Game Macufacterea best of men.” Then with a crash and an awful | of cards can be played. bump, we went on our w: 1 rar cuore pees They charged me seventy-five cents a day L k d H Sh because my parrot talked, and twenty-five cents a ewoo orse ow to watch him when I got out and walked. I got frightened when I lost my ticket and they]| Miay 6 and 7, 1904 charged me for my bed, and when I found my ticket, the conductor shook his head For I asked him for my dollar and then he charged me more, just because I wanted al >w when the back of my head was sore. It! are safe! Don't jump, my 1 girl, stay on re Nt Fancy Grocers ae 2 a crs geuwrally, OF the Santa Fe. 1 write to | was fifty cents for my breakfast when I was too | sick to walk, and twenty-five cents for a cup of| tea, but I paid h his talk | It was bumping up the high grade and| thumping down the low, and when we came PERFECT AFFINITY to a nice smooth (7) stretch and thought they Ser wines and Lquors exists would try to go, T concluded I rode on a freight inno water but DEERFIELD, train, and said through all my pain, as I paid for a piece of ice for my head, I never would | ty Chosen bythe ride again | © select for On that road, through that sand, through that | ~ Zome use. tunnel, through that awful blindi re then I paid someone twenty-five cents for a WRITE FOR drink both cool and sweet (1). Bu : | my word, come what will and whenever I go that way, you can bet your life I would rather walk than ride On the Santa Very truly 3 yours, pitied tobi a sabes Kiexsviure, Mo. Jennie Sue Stelle. | , DEERFIELD. ned patterns, devised to unite ° “ ots de znity with correct style. Nemper 19, Webother w You have, ia con- E have all traveled on the Railroad of eg OF inet : gorge WwW Life. Some have found it a pleasurable | and profitable journey, but the majority find it] decidedly tough. I belong to the majority. On the last t trip I made, the train, consisting OLD CROW RYE «ator WHISKEY sour cre Sone comicbooks.com